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dontmixpaintinyourcoffee · 5 months ago

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A glimpse into my twisted mind

Head under the cut for close-ups and notes for this whole process because hoo boy this musical sure has eaten my brain

So first things first, I'm gonna write out the notes I have at the top down here because they're pretty foundational for all my designs going forward.

Historical accuracy is not a priority here. The story is primarily a fantasy based on the aesthetics of Mycenaean and Hellenic Greece. If the time period is more nebulous the anachronisms are less distracting.

This is more personal preference than anything. I love a good historically accurate piece, but I think I would find it more frustrating than satisfying in this case. If literally everything was accurate to the best of our knowledge except for the dialogue... it would drive me nuts. Plus, it's a reinterpretation and a fantasy story. When I look at it I don't want to think "Oh that's The Odyssey", I want to think "Oh that's THIS version of The Odyssey"

Also, to be frank, I'm being lazy here. I want to draw about this musical for fun, and I want any research I do to be for fun too.

From what I understand, we get most of our modern-day "common knowledge" of Greek mythology based on stories from the Hellenic/Hellenistic (still not sure which one is right) period, especially from Roman influences. However, The Odyssey takes place in The Bronze Age, around 1200 B.C.E. The Mycenaean period is something like 1600-1100 B.C.E. There's a solid 500 year distance MINIMUM between the two time periods. Hopefully I can take references from both, put my own spin on it, and make something that clearly calls back to "Ancient Greece" while still obviously existing in a world far outside our reality.

Now for God's Favorite Punching Bag!

This is a weird process, because there isn't a "canon" look for any of the characters, but I still wanted there to be a somewhat instinctual knowledge from the EPIC audience that the guy I was drawing was probably Odysseus. So I started with some of my favorite interpretations that I've seen. These Odys are brought to you by:

@gigizetz

Neal Illustrator on YouTube

@wolfythewitch

VirusAP on YouTube

They feature some crucial differences in build, shape, and style, but there are some interesting similarities across all of them. All of them share a heavy brow, some kind of facial hair, a prominent nose, and a crooked smile (not pictured in these doodles but it's there trust me.)

After that was figuring out the outfit(s). I took a LOT of inspiration from the Hades games, because I think they embody the kind of look I'm going for. Clearly based in history, but not beholden to it. So I took the designs of some of the important mortals that show up (Odysseus, Achilles, Patroclus, and Theseus) and laid them out next to designs of Odysseus and Eurylochus by Neal Illustrator and Gigi. Then for fun I added in one of the few pieces of pottery art I could find that didn't have Odysseus bare-ass naked.

I really like having some kind of cloak or wrap around his shoulders and neck, and I like the leather arm guards that pop up in quite a few of these designs, so that's probably going to be fairly consistent. I also really like the circlet shown in the Neal Illustrator and Hades II designs, it's a nice reminder that he is actually a king. With all that established, we finally move to my actual designs.

The man himself! Mid-Polyphemus encounter. I think this is the point in the story where he's the most put together. He just did the most heinous thing he's ever done*, but he's finally finished. He has 600 men to set an example for, and they're finally going home. He's trying to project confidence. He's well-groomed, he's got his circlet, he's got his comrades, he's not feeling good, but no one else needs to know that.

*up until that point anyways...

This guy is somewhere just before the Poseidon Incident. His beard is fuller and a bit scraggly, his hair is a bit longer and kinda tangled (the wind does not help), and those eye bags are a touch deeper. Losing those 12-ish people to Polyphemus hit him hard, and losing Polites especially took a toll.

Three guesses of when this takes place and the first two don't count. Those 7 years on Ogygia... They're rough. Physically he's the safest he's been since he left Ithaca, but just having to sit with all the horrors he's done and seen, alone with someone who is impossible to really talk to, achingly close to home... Yeah it's bad. I always pictured this scene happening in the middle of a roiling storm, when he realizes what he's considering doing and he calls out for the last person he knows can still hear him. (Also a little bit of lightning in the back to show Zeus being the one to trap both Odysseus and Calypso here)

IMPORTANT NOTE:

My interpretation of this Calypso is that she's very much manipulative and overbearing, but she won't remove his autonomy. She will provide him with food, but won't make him eat it. This is crucial to this version of the story, because EPIC wants you to sympathize with Calypso at least a little bit. If she was more like her original counterpart I trust that it would have been called out explicitly by the text, so I'm operating under the impression that while she's not a good person, she is at least not so malicious or selfish that she would take away Odysseus' choice in anything. More on her when I get to designing her. Just wanted to make my thoughts extremely clear.

Flashback! Baby Odysseus! Basic setup, circlet, chiton, youthful determination, you know the deal. He's probably about 12 here, which is about the age I picture him doing the boar trial. It was fun trying to hint at the shapes he would grow into in his adulthood. And of course a little bit of Athena influence in the back there. I don't know if a barn owl makes sense geographically, but honestly I just wanted to draw a barn owl. They're cute.

*Insert electric guitar riff*

Maybe my favorite Ody to draw??? He still wears those 7 years on him, but he's trimmed his beard and gotten himself some new clothes, and he's feeling murderously vengeful. Good for him. This is specifically his beggar disguise. I gave him a traveling cloak and some extra cloth to really wrap himself up with. The more he can hide himself, the better. He wants to be invisible, and if someone was to see him he doesn't want them to see any body language. This is just after he shoots Antinous though so... Jig's up :)

#coffeepaintart #odysseus epic the musical #epic the musical #etm odysseus #etm #epic #epic fanart #epic the musical fanart

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literaryvein-reblogs · 8 months ago

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I want to write a child's first word can ypu help me with the reactions

Here are some previous posts I have related to this:

Children's Dialogue

Speech Development

Grammar Development

Speech & Language Milestones

Speech & Hearing Milestones

On Children

I'm not sure I fully understood the request, though. Did you mean reactions of parents or the people around them (as opposed to the child) when the child says their first word? If so, I think in writing that scene, you could follow some advice that most editors and authors give, like:

Base the scene on your observations. What were reactions you personal saw when a child uttered their first word? What was your reaction? What were the child's reaction? (Typically, the child would imitate the reaction of others in the room).

If you don't have that personal experience yet, it's advised to look at literature. Read the specific scenes when children said their first word. This could be from books, screenplays, anecdotal evidence in research papers etc. We could learn a lot from how other authors have described/written about it.

Make your observations and take notes from other media (films, TV shows, documentaries, home videos etc.).

Ask people. Conduct interviews. Especially with parents or primary caregivers. What were their observations? How did they personally feel? How did they react?

Here's an excerpt from a blog I found, detailing how they remember their children's first words:

Cameron – His first documented word was duck. I remember it came out of his love for taking baths. There was a little duck toy that he played with. It also seems to me ducks were well represented in our books at the time. Regardless, this is the word he chose to say and use frequently. Melia – Her first documented word was banana (pronounced nana). This girl had a love of food. Still does. I would attribute that love to her nasty bout with reflux the first year of her life. She was constantly eating because the moment she stopped, her reflux got ugly. Sienna – She has only clearly spoken one word so far. Her first documented word is nice. What a strange choice, right? Well, this first word was born from her mean. She loves to give you a kiss and then smack you across the face. It is quite funny…right now. However, through us trying to teach her to “be nice”, she has picked up her first word. She says it all the time when touching something or as the dog enters the room.

Anecdotes like this, you could use as reference. Hope this helps with your writing!

#writing reference #children #writeblr #writers on tumblr #dark academia #spilled ink #writing prompt #literature #on writing #writing tips #writing advice #creative writing #light academia #words #first word #writing resources

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strawbairicake · 4 months ago

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5 random hcs of some hsr men who i absolutely adore in no particular order- various x reader

warnings: none, pure fluff!

word count: 612

author’s note: reader is only referred to as “you” and or as “partner”, and otherwise is seen as gender neutral. would love to do this with female and wuthering waves characters too, lmk if i should! hope you enjoy!

dr. ratio:

takes mental notes of what his partner likes and dislikes. he then tunes activities you both do with things you’re more likely to enjoy.

can read cues of how his partner is feeling- he does really well with this if he takes you to an event with him. the second you show a sign of discomfort, you are either a) leaving or b) being taken elsewhere so you can breathe

he and a few others DEFINITELY abide by the sidewalk rule. he’s one of those that brings you to the inside of him subconsciously if there’s something moving in your direction.

never intentionally mean to you. even if you’re in an argument. also never yells at you, especially if you’re the type to get overwhelmed by loud and sudden noises.

probably likes teaching you- if you’re curious about something and ask him, he is more than happy to teach you anything and everything he knows.

aventurine:

likes taking you places with him because, as he says, you’re his “good luck charm” and part of you falls for it everytime.

never puts your life at risk, and has become more careful of his own because you’re precious to him and vice versa.

smells really good unironically- and it’s not an overwhelming smell he has either. it’s homey yet also something you can’t quite pinpoint.

talks to you in his native tongue by accident when he gets excited. notices the quizzical look on your face, realizes his mistake, apologizes even though you’re happy he still remembers said language, and retells everything correctly.

a cuddle bug through and through. scared you’re going to leave him so he cuddles you extra close to him at night- he can’t fathom the thought of something happening to you.

boothill:

calls you some of the most ATROCIOUS pet names but if they make you laugh, he doesn’t stop using them. if you express you don’t like them, though, he stops and sticks to regular pet names.

keeps a hand on the small of your back while traveling together. a small reminder you’re there and probably not leaving.

his heart melts if you’re seen with kids and seem to be good at handling them, it makes him happy yet sad at the same time.

always keeps you out of harm’s way even if you insist you can help whether it’s fighting or something like that. he can’t risk losing you now that he has you.

has SO MANY inside jokes with you, it’s actually crazy. god forbid if you accidentally say one in public you’re both snickering like school girls.

argenti:

an absolute gentleman, but would you expect anything less from him? your hand shan’t touch a door, chair, or anything like that. he holds the door, pulls the chair back, all with this small smile on his face. very endearing.

the type of person to learn your native tongue in secret and on special occasions will surprise you with a speech in said tongue and it gets you teary eyed every time.

if you have long hair (or just hair in general), he LOVES playing with it, please let him. he learns all sorts of tricks about your hair type and how to care for it. he does his research- it’s super sweet.

he could listen to you talk for hours, and he will never once interrupt you- always listening with a soft smile and an occasional “yes” and “go on”. he retains what you tell him too!

he makes mental notes of your hobbies/interests and attempts them with you. reading? already picked out something he likes and a surprise book on your tbr that you mentioned recently. he’s very thoughtful.

#airi writes #hsr x reader #honkai star rail x reader #dr ratio x reader #aventurine x reader #boothill x reader #hsr fluff #argenti x reader

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channelmariegreen · 3 months ago

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Okay! So let’s go over the crazy stuff in the most recent Welcome Home update and my theories!! SPOILERS!!! Buckle in because it’s gonna be long one ☝️

First thing I noticed was the fact that Wally is gone from the “What Is Welcome Home” page and completely gone from the home page. Next thing, when you go to The Neighborhood on mobile- it’s crossed off in crayon! But on the computer his home is there and when you go to his character sheet- he’s not looking at us anymore ☹️ so either WHRP changed it or there’s a reason why he’s not looking at us- also what if on the next update he’s gone from his character sheet? 😣. When I saw that- I was like “what? 😟 maybe he’s looking towards his character sheet as, like, a subliminal message? Or he needs to tell us something?” And let me just add- I think that WHRP is either making efforts to remove Wally from the website so he can’t intervene or Wally removed himself for certain reasons… I’m so big brained ☝️🤓because I go to his audio to see if it changed and it did, it had this distorted ringing sound. Either he’s calling us or someone is calling him- since it sounded weird it could be either-or, I could be wrong tho. Next, click with two fingers on his picture, click “save image as” and you get the title of it and it says “ringring” which Wally clearly left as a clue so we could find him. You go to the toy phone ☎️ on the toys page and click Wally’s button and it brings you to the Ringring audio. In the audio you can tell he’s showing more of his emotions and personality- I think the thing that’s holding him back is not wanting to scare us and/or maybe not wanting to scare us off so we can help him. But, you can tell he’s getting really frustrated, not only because he’s alone, he can’t hear us and us not being there clearly halts his efforts somehow(we’ll get to that) ✌️but also because his efforts to spread light on everything are being stopped. He said when he came back, nothing was how he left it(secret audios, secret tapes, secret pages, etc) like I said, Wally was trying to spread light and tell the truth but now I think WHRP is watching like a hawk and is deleting and reverting all the things he changed. Also! Next- He said he’s not in the same room as us but he’s trying and he’s getting better 😟 uh, so I won’t be suprised if in the next update that W.’s next diary entry on AWAYFROMPRYINGEYES is about hearing or seeing stuff from the corner of their eye, dude! 😖 and I just realized! W. was already saying they’ve been getting even more paranoid(but that could be because of the research. But, we’ll get to that another time since this is already so long!)

Now here’s my question: he sounded very frustrated when he said something like “I know what words are. I saw words. I followed them!” Either he’s referring to when WHRP was leaving commands for him, he followed them, they maybe thought it was too much and they moved to this website which may have confused him(which maybe wouldn’t make sense because he left bugs on this website for us to find too) or I think that when W. left letters around the website for us to see and find their website so they could also spread light on the weird stuff going on in welcome Home and potentially WHRP, I think Wally saw it and maybe misinterpreted it as a signal to travel to the AWAYFROMPRYINGEYES website. I thought he traveled through TV channels- but, especially now that he said the channels were dark when we weren’t there. But this has me thinking- was he the one who gave commercials and the Homewarming episode? 🤔 also another thing to note- since he travels through channels I think that whenever we turn off the TV or don’t visit the website(or whatever else) he can’t see or feel so that tells me it’s kind of like a void whenever that happens.

Lastly for Wally, I think that he knows now that his efforts are clearly being silenced so now- like he said “to avoid trouble” he’s going to give us more subliminal messages that aren’t easily found! So we need to look out, everyone! ☝️

Next, onto Julie: let’s talk about the Springtime Salutations storybook. Why did they have ringing as the “turn the page” sound? and also it didn’t even happen everytime you had to turn the page! Also, just like last time the words were going find of off script- which I think that in realtime these storybooks are being recorded by the characters and maybe a crew of people or something? and the characters know they’re being recorded because, 1. they talk to the narrator all the time and 2. On the last secret tape of Julie, she said she lost her microphone!

Also, remember everything that happened during Homewarming? The narrator on the Springtime Salutations said something about a cold, dark winter- so I think more stuff went down that we don’t know about. Now, in the first tape, frank and Julie went around and Julie was helping bloom the flowers(this tells us it took place during the Springtime Salutations) and this one flower would not open(the black tulip which I saw someone say that it’s a winter flower! So of course it’s not going to open- it’s spring!) and I could tell she was getting pretty discouraged and a sad when she couldn’t get it to open. Which- normal, okay 👌 maybe it takes some time, what caught my eye the most was that Frank said “I think I’ve found something in a sunflower! But I can’t seem to pry it open!” 😧 yeah- like I said I’m pretty sure they’re being watched or taped, either by staff or Wally. Tape 2: Julie is demonstrating to frank how she opens the flowers but again the black one isn’t opening! She seems even more discouraged but is clearly trying to hide it. Tape 3: Julie’s voice sounds different… more human? And I think that might be her voice actor(we’ll get to that 🫵) and then she switches back and puts on her cartoony voice and persona. She tries to maybe relate to the flower and get it to maybe not be scared when it opens up(which- she also talked about how sometimes Barnaby and howdy are rude to her. I don’t think Barnaby is trying to hurt her feelings, howdy tho 😒 I like howdy but he’s kinda rude- especially to Eddie so him being rude to Julie isn’t as surprising). She was recounting the time she met frank and then her and frank met Wally- at the end Wally said: “Did all that really happen, Julie?”(we’ll get to that 👏). Tape 4: she sounds confused as to why the flower STILL hadn’t bloomed! And she was starting to get more upset(in her thoughts) and she was trying maybe apologize if it was anything she did that didn’t make it bloom. When she was referring to her the Sweet Briar play- where a prince had to wake her from her sleep- she thought to herself “if only it were that easy…” now- hm 🤔 she also said “you’ll be gone” most likely to the flower. Now, why is she so hellbent on the flower blooming? Now onto tape 5- the last tape. This seemed to be the same day as the “Your Darling Broadcast” and this is when Julie seemed to loose it. She was walking with frank and asked him to wait there since she “saw her family” and he seemed like he was gonna be grumpy as usual but I think he saw her face and maybe she seemed a bit desperate so that’s why he changed his tune. She seemed so upset and frantic when she saw that the flower didn’t bloom and she seemed like she was so desperate for it to open! She seemed scared that someone would see and maybe something would happen to her if she didn’t get it to bloom- which is interesting and further proves my suspicions that they’re being looked over or watched(we’ll get to that- I know you’re tired of hearing that 😅). Then that weird bug thing that we kept seeing in this update flew on the flower and looked at her and that’s where the video ends! Which seemed like the last secret but I kept seeing this image of frank looking kind of in shock and I finally found it.

I think this is what ended up happening- remember when on the Halloween storybook when sally was talking about a monster that come out at night and that’s why they don’t go outside and Julie said on one of the secret tapes aren’t allowed to go out at night (Julie’s words) and that’s why not many people live in Home 🤔 I think that bug thing is it and I think that it might’ve k**led Julie because- it was evening in her tape and on the photo of frank it looked like it was getting late and he looked in shock- 😮 I think she’s either injured or just gone now.

Now! Onto the second to last part:

That little bug thing- like I said it might be the monster going around or maybe a by product of it. When Wally drew what he thought happiness looked like- for us it was covered in black but if you brighten your screen it’s the creature- it’s also the same creature that W. got in a toy box on their doorstep. I think maybe Wally was trying to give a subliminal message to Julie but she just didn’t catch it. I think that the reason some things are covered in black is because Wally or whoever is sending those “gifts” is trying to hide pieces of information from WHRP

Lastly: okay. Overall I think playfellow workshop made this cartoon universe with all the characters and maybe Mr. Dorelaine wanted it to be more real, so I think it sorta’v turned into a cult, they k**led the voice actors, put their souls and or*ans into the puppets(i think that’s part of why their only memories are made up) and somehow made that world in the TV. I think Wally is a special case though- I think they made him from scratch or he might be the first experiment, thus why he has the abilities the others don’t, and understands and does things the others can’t. This can also be explained by the constant eyes we see, the correlation between Wally’s use of his multiple eyes and the other eye symbols we see. It also seems to me that the “sun” they have looks like the eye on Wally’s radio episode!! 😬 all I’m saying is, is whatever their guardian is- is clearly connected to Wally especially. I also think WHRP has to have something to do with it because if they were clearly trying to experiment and also communicate with Wally and if they truly wanted everything out there and nothing sketchy was going on they could’ve had a separate serious website where they could clearly talk to him and maybe get him out so we could see eveything, but 🤷 I don’t trust those people at all!

Also one more thing! ☝️ why was Wally so scared of us forgetting him? Maybe he was scared that all of his efforts would be kinda wasted if we forgot him- which is valid, or is it for a different reason 🤔

There are little tiny things that I’ll get into another time but that’s it for now! 👏🎬

Okay! Now the links for the tapes and image of frank. Each one is the regular url for welcome home and then after the net put

1: /revengemessagebeware

2: /innocenceconstancyaspell

3: /regardforgetfullnesssilence

4: /temptationdreamshope

5: /tearsrememberanceinstanility

6/revengeinnocenceregardtemptationtears

(That last one was definitely the end of her tapes and I think the end of Julie 🤦)

Okay! If you have any thoughts or theories please tell meeee [EDIT: NOO! Tape five is gone! 😭]

🏃💨

#welcome home theory #welcome home update #welcome home #welcome home arg #wally darling #frank frankly #julie joyful #Spotify

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dirtbra1n · 21 days ago

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absolutely blasted thru hrkg and ssmy and now i find im obsessed w (all of them) but sasahira in particular rn

i’ve seen u mention a few times the similarities between sasaki and kagiura vis a vis their dynamic w hirano and i was wondering if u had posted abt them before? i would love to hear ur thoughts when u have time :))

hi anon Very very very quickly fumbling to put my sasahira glasses back on

Hello. We are so back

so the natural place to start here may well be the impromptu functional compilation web I made a few weeks ago because if you haven’t seen that already (you might have, I won’t discount a fellow scholar’s fervor no matter how fresh out the gate) I sure do Insinuate a lot of things that make me Frothing at the mouth scary-crazy. which is hardly unusual but nevertheless worth noting. I’d have you start with this one just as reference material mostly, because even just off the cuff (which I eventually defaulted to) (on paper) a lot of the pieces came up. as well as a small sampling of All of the other many many (manymanymanymany) things that fall outside of its scope. because As I know you know, on account of your asking me, anon, There’s A Lot Of Crazy Just Everything To Do With Sasaki, Kagi, And Hirano. and miyano too I know you didn’t explicitly mention miyano and I also don’t go super in depth but my good friend petri dish boy “bad luck” miyano is also part of this because harusono shou is crazy. Which I am also. as we can already tell I’m sure. Okay let us begin. I basically always have time for this kind of thing

sasaki non-confrontational, kagi facing things head-on; sasaki running away from help where kagi is arguably over-reliant on it; sasaki refuses to call hirano his friend but kagi is DESPERATE to have some formal claim, some title, over him; narratively speaking* sasaki runs from thinking about hirano whenever possible, ducking behind miyano, kagi (roommate-kun), or the both of them if he can’t clear his mind quick enough, whereas it feels sometimes like hirano’s all kagi thinks about;

*I say ‘narratively speaking’ to mean that within the world, obviously kagi thinks about many things that are not hirano, and thoughts of hirano obviously slip through the hastily patched cracks in sasaki’s defenses.

I was trying to go at this thoughtfully and with notes and all but I was tying myself up into knots and was gonna give myself a headache for the trouble. So Because I was at work anyway I figured I might as well just talk out of my ass.

to start with I think it’s really funny that all three of them—sasaki, kagi, and hirano—are on the S side of the S&M chart. I know this is an interesting place to start.

[this is the obligatory disclaimer that the S&M indicators are not exclusively sexual in nature, and they wouldn’t be As interesting a framework of analysis if they were. that said Attitudes about and toward things of halfway sexual or suggestive nature are Culturally Variable. sadomasochism is, at the end of the day, a sexual psychological and behavioral term and area of study, and part of the reason S and M have made their way into the (japanese) cultural collective consciousness (as in Used all over the place, including and especially contexts that are verifiably Safe For Work) is probably Something to do with history of social and cultural humor. but I’m not a professional and didn’t do any research on that to say this because This Really Isn’t About That Right Now. though it’s very interesting stuff, you should doubt and second-guess me frequently. I am still just a big-headed pervert with no qualifications.]

anyway. putting aside INNUENDO really what this (their all being S) means practically is that the lot of them are assertive people by nature. this next bit has to be about sasaki.

his straight-up depression and complex(es) about strength and hurting others puts a damper on his natural temperament. but also This totally falls out of the scope of what we’re doing here. but sometimes you just have to wonder about the relative scaling of the spectrum. just put a pin in that though I am only one guy. in any case for current purposes what S is a signifier of is Doing the teasing, no tolerance for being teased. “What does no tolerance imply?” WE CAN’T GET INTO IT RIGHT NOW. OKAY? what it means for sasaki anyway is He likes to tease (makes his little jokes), probably doesn’t handle being teased the greatest (whatever that means), and What of assertiveness? Well that’s the question isn’t it.

WHY DOESN’T SASAKI ASK FOR HELP? put a pin in that too for Technically we don’t know but probably depression. and also the complex(es) about strength and hurting others. (and also additionally just Not really intrinsically knowing what it’s like to be cared for—address further questions on this subject matter to dedicated sasaki scholar @aranarumei.) if asking for help is an assertive behavior and assertive is a violent-sounding word that conjures up images of cornering people and handing out threats like candy and also Sasaki wants to be helped up but he can’t face it and therefore doesn’t really express it. the way Prior to petri dish boy he doesn’t really express a lot of things.

you see how hirano is right there, juuust on the S side of the chart? more assertive than not, more teaser than teased, but largely centered. less assertive than sasaki, technically. imagine with me: If Sasaki needed my help, why wouldn’t he just ask? left of sasaki, more S: kagi, who needs help and expresses it freely. Why wouldn’t he just ask? sasaki lighting up around miyano, teasing the hell out of him. Why wouldn’t he just ask? sasaki not even getting miyano’s phone number. Why wouldn’t he just ask? discrepancy behind sasaki’s nature and the façade he puts up—the sleepy, friendly, open-enough, aimless sasaki in the stairwell that time, that hirano could see wanted to be helped up; the sasaki he watched on after, who “never seemed like [he] wanted to get any better”; sasaki’s shitty mask, hirano knowing something’s off but not knowing what. jumping into a fight for somebody else, but not even slightly for yourself—sentient punching bag; being worried but not so much. If Sasaki needed my help, why wouldn’t he just ask?

hypothesis: because so much of sasaki’s issues are enmeshed with his acting against who he is, hirano would likewise need to act a little outside of himself to get through to him (e.g. more assertive, e.g. Why didn’t you ask me for help?)

hypothesis: because kagiura doesn’t have that issue, his and hirano’s relationship is able to progress more smoothly.

clarifying statement: kagiura’s issue, primarily, is that he hates that he feels he can’t act against who he is.

can’t help but let himself be helped and cared for, can’t help but be subject to feelings of jealousy, can’t help but want outside of the lines he himself drew in the sand. he couldn’t bear it if he did something to hirano that hirano really didn’t want; is, on some level, scared of himself and the You will recognize this turn of phrase. enormity of his desire.

a workaround is that hirano is more comfortable, likes, hugging kagi over being hugged. the less assertive enjoys asserting over the more assertive.

Hm.

hypothesis: if sasaki, just once before endeavoring to close himself off, had just let hirano in—

Living together as a symbol of emotional intimacy and vulnerability.

this would be a title or subtitle or header or sub header somewhere but really I think it speaks for itself. and I’m bad at anything that meaningfully resembles a legitimately structured essay. fortunately or unfortunately the Living together variable is dependent on the senpai-kouhai variable, which Just unfortunately is not dependent on the Living together variable. by which I mean I think sincerely that hirano (saw the light of heaven upon being called niichan) wouldn’t have left sasaki alone had he been in the first year cohort. but, consequently, they wouldn’t have gotten the stairwell conversation that was Maybe […] supposed to happen.

You might understand a little now why I get so preoccupied with narrative threads when it comes to sasahira.

I had a lunch break here. I resumed when it was over. sasakagi time. I love sasakagi because I love mess.

we know how sasaki feels about kagi At least as far as second year because of SPECIFICALLY the incredibly revealing If your precious little [kouhai] sucks at studying, then he’s not gonna get any better. which is to say He is literally drawing the comparisons between them himself. just so blatantly.

imagine you compare yourself to your friend’s guy you know’s classmate’s* precious little kouhai to vent a little of your Depressed Malaise and in response, instead of saying literally anything else, and especially anything that addresses this big gaping wound you just flashed him two and a half seconds ago, he rejects the comparison you just made to defend precious little kouhai-kun. from any association with you. and your Malaise. Hirano you can’t just say that.

*considering how sasaki says (emphasis mine) “one of the smartest guys in his class”, he kind of acts like they aren’t even classmates. so maybe ‘guy you know’ is the most apt after all.

but the thing obviously is that hirano’s wrong—not about kagi not getting any better, but about kagi and sasaki not being similar. the only difference (that matters in this incredibly volatile* conversation) is that kagi is a kouhai suffering in the same room as him and sasaki is not. the context naturally wants it to be both ‘kouhai’ AND ‘same room’ but Hirano Taiga sasaki sits right behind you in class. I know it’s the magic of living together but you are a sick, cruel man.

*complicated

and look sasaki and hirano Do undeniably get closer over their three years together (close enough for the word ‘friend’ to slip out of sasaki’s mouth and splatter world-shatteringly on the pavement for hirano to say literally nothing about, sasaki) but it’s still predicated on all these misconstructions of reality and circumstance. sat right next to him alone in a room together, sasaki needs help with something, thinks to ask hirano about it (sat right next to him), hesitates because he sees how focused he looks (right there) (sat right next to him), and then ultimately decides against it. meanwhile hirano (right there) (next to sasaki) (no buffer chairs because sasaki took the chair there) (right next to him) yawns because he’s tired, and by tired I mean Probably understimulated. because as much as hirano likes studying he’s gotten SO used to helping kagi with his work over THEIR time together that not being asked to think about A) what he already knows very well and/or B) what he himself is reviewing for any potential uncertainty is a detriment to his focus. he’s probably bored. to put it out there plainly: because sasaki pulled back from asking for help, out of consideration for his friend hirano, who is right there, he is doing them both a disservice.*

hirano has taught sasaki to ‘not always’ put up his guard, which I do think is more substantial than lowering a bit of it (sorry petri dish boy but it’s true), but ‘not always’ seems, very apparently, to apply only when sasaki doesn’t get into his head about how weird is feels to be with hirano at all, let alone… alone with him.

the recurring theme at play of course being that hirano’s time with sasaki affects his time with kagi, and hirano’s time with kagi affects his time with sasaki, because they are the exact same but different.

*if this sounds familiar Don’t think about read and/or review adult au hrkg and Do not fall into catatonia.

also I’m bringing back the side-by-side. Come ON…

#okay let’s go with this. this can be a jumping off point for further Discussion :)#askbox #sasahira #hirakagi #sasahirakagi #<- inevitable #sasaki shuumei #hirano taiga #kagiura akira #TAGS ARE EXHAUSTING. AM I FORGETTING ANY #dirtbrain digression #fuuuuuck okay. anyway i don’t think i said already THANK YOU FOR ASKING ANON! I LOOK FORWARD TO WORKING WITH YOU!

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ziyechs · 27 days ago

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okay i'm here i'm sat i would love to hear more about this au!! as i said in my tags just now WHY would joe have left and drifted with someone else?? how could he do that to ja'marr like...no wonder he's upset!! and again i'll say that drift compatibility for them is SO perfect because i mean tbh the closest thing to that irl would HAVE to be the chemistry of a QB/WR relationship. especially one as unique as their's!

ohh boy okay strap in this got kind of long (plus this first part of it is almost entirely unnecessary world-building lmao so bear with me)

also here, here and here are my previous posts about joe'marr pacrim au in case anyone is curious as to what the hell i'm even talking about here

nowwwww, first things first: joe and ja’marr meet sometime in ja’marr’s first year at the jaeger academy and get paired up pretty much immediately due to their insanely high drift-compatibility

i was doing a bit of Professional Research (scrolling tumblr) and stumbled upon this incredible post, which i’m gonna be using as a reference when talking about drift compatibility and whatnot

now. important to note that joe, for the sake of kicking the plot of this whole thing into action, has an unusually high dci

(ja’marr’s compatibility index isn’t super low or anything, just in the lower range somewhere, which limits his ability to drift with other people and also restricts the number of potential drift-partners that are theoretically available to him)

(meanwhile someone like justin probably has a higher-ish dci, as evidenced by his ability to thrive in minnesota while playing under 293849074583274 different, questionably talented quarterbacks lol)

(sidenote, i reckon their respective compatibility indexes are somewhat allegorical to how the nature (and role demands) of their positions differ irl: quarterbacks need to have a pretty good, mutual connections with all of their potential receiving targets (which includes receivers, but also tight ends, or running backs). need to be on good terms with their o-lines, the people they rely on for protection, and have at least a basic awareness/understanding of cornerbacks/safeties to make accurate reads in the pocket)

(comparatively, receiver is much more of an isolated position, i would say. they obviously have to work closely with their quarterbacks (and some of the main back-ups), but apart from that it’s a very lonely position with few relationships you gotta maintain in order to be successful)

but, yeah, all of this is to say that joe would probably be a highly sought-after commodity in this universe due to his ability to sustain a stable neural handshake with pretty much anyone

probably gets fast-tracked through the academy and sent to one of the more prestigious shatterdomes (LA), in a move that’s honestly mostly a PR-strategy (i’m assuming this takes place around the time where the wall starts getting built and the public has begun losing trust in the jaeger program)

obviously gets sent out on missions pretty much immediately

helps with some of the developmental work necessary to refine the pons-interface and gets his ears talked off by a bunch of engineers who want to hear his opinion on this entirely insignificant piece of jaeger technology they have been working on

but they also task him with training the younger recruits that are arriving at the shatterdome (since it’s advantageous for them to have amore experienced partner to enter a drift simulator with when trying to fine-tune some of their abilities), so during his first year joe enters a lot of different simulators with a lot of different people

now, it’s been a while since i’ve actually watched the movies so i’m not entirely sure in how far (if at all) this is supported by the canon, but i would imagine that it’s probably not recommended to switch your drift partners very often due to some obscure neurological reason

(maybe it just takes too much of a mental strain on the brain when it is constantly being tasked with adapting (and reacting) to multiple drift partners with vastly disparate backgrounds, cognitive architectures and experiences? might also be important to take into account that he’s entering a lot of simulators with inexperienced pilots and young recruits. which most likely puts a comparatively high mental strain on joe’s brain, since he’s the one that's primarily responsible for stabilizing the drift and maintaining the connection)

i would also imagine that there’s probably not an awful lot of research on this particular topic, since joe is one of the first pilots who have had a high enough compatibility index, number of different drift partners and usage rate to trigger this phenomenon

the symptoms are barely noticeable at first: maybe a few minor migraines. his vision going a little blurry at the edges whenever he spends too much time staring at his ipad screen. tiny fissures in his memory; things he used to know blindly suddenly start slipping his mind—the access code to his room, the name of the new recruit he’s meant to be mentoring

but he hides it fairly well—probably doesn’t even really notice it in the beginning, chalks it up to the stress he’s been under recently, to the poor sleep he’s been getting. doesn’t mention it to anyone because what’s the point, really, it’s nothing bad, he’s doing alright, doesn’t want to worry anyone when there are much, much bigger problems that require dealing with (namely: the end of the world lol)

until it starts getting worse: he begins having more severe memory impairments. wakes up in the mornings with a headache that’s bad enough to make him dry heave into the toilet bowl. stays right there on the cold bathroom tile, desperately trying to breathe through the nausea, just keeps pulling air into his lungs—slow and deep and steady—, blinking red-hot, bleeding pain out of his eyes. cuts himself while trying to shave because he can’t stop his hands from trembling. gets out of the simulator one day and just. collapses.

obviously immediately gets rushed to the medical department where they spend the next twelve hours conducting various neurological assessments on him (asking a bunch of questions, checking for balance and attention and memory, trying to construct a timeline of his symptoms) until deciding that the whole thing is serious enough to warrant functional/structural neuroimaging. in order to assess the full extent of the damage iykwim

all of which ultimately culminates in joe sitting in a tiny, tucked-away room somewhere, listening to one of the doctors—an older woman with a steady voice and kind eyes—as she’s saying words like neuronal cell death and brain atrophy and protein aggregation like any of it means anything to him

joe doesn’t say a single word, just stares blankly at this horrible, multi-coloured PET-scan of his brain; black splotches where there used to be neural activity, like a lease that has run out

finally, weeks later, he receives official confirmation that he’ll be allowed to continue piloting as long as he restricts his partners to people he has previously drifted with: people he has no issues maintaining a stable connection with, people he knows well enough to ensure that the neural handshake is stable and balanced enough as to not cause any further mental deterioration

which, obviously, leaves a somewhat restricted number of people: tee, tyler, a few people he drifted with back in the academy (justin, clyde, terrace), and, of course, ja’marr

—

okay, i’m gonna go on a quick tangent here, so bear with me for a minute. i was trying to figure out a semi-logical reason for why (and how) excessive drifting with a multitude of different drift partners would cause this kind of decline in joe’s cognitive abilities (and, ultimately, would have most likely rendered him unable to drift entirely, had they not caught it in time)

the movie references the term ‘mental load’ a lot when talking about drifting. which, like, as far as i understand it, doesn’t really mean anything except for serving as a sort of blanket term for the mental effort it would require to pilot a jaeger. (but it doesn’t offer any actual explanation to how exactly it works)

so, naturally, because i am kind of an insane person, i read this paper on the basic mechanisms of neurodegeneration to come up with an (honestly still kind of questionable) explanation

now, from what i know, certain neurodegenerative diseases are in parts caused/exacerbated by high levels of stress (activation of the hpa axis, which elevates circulating corticosteroid levels in the brain, blablabla, the whole shebang)

soooo, maybe there’s an interaction between the high levels of cortisol in joe’s brain and the depletion of specific cognitive resources associated with maintaining the neural handshake

which could cause something like protein aggregation (a process in which mutated or improperly folded proteins accumulate and form aggregates), which ultimately results in a disruption in the mechanisms that are responsible for neural growth, recovery, neurogenesis and whatnot

like i said previously all of this is very Biologically Questionably (i am Not an expert) but whatever lol it’s good enough for me

i also feel the need to emphasise that joe should probably not be drifting At All anymore at this point, but i highly doubt anyone in this universe feels like they have the luxury of issuing joe burrow a permanent, blanket ban on piloting

(also, if anything, medical malpractice is kind of a prerogative when writing nfl fanfic lol)

ANYWAY like i said, all of this leaves joe with limited options: justin (who got stationed up in anchorage and has grown into an exceptional pilot and, like, has become an essential part of the organisation up there, so honestly good luck convincing KOC to ever let him go), tee, tyler, some of the guys that are still back at the academy and ja’marr

cue: joe starts not-so-subtly lobbying for ja’marr

the higher-ups in LA aren’t entirely convinced on him; he’s just coming off an injury that has sidelined him for months and—even though his and joe’s sim performances last year had been nothing short of excellent: thirty-seven drops and thirty-seven kills—ja’marr hasn’t been in a simulator for over a year now

but at the end of the day joe does get his wish and ja’marr is sent to LA

—

NOW. MEANWHILE. as all of this is happening, ja’marr is busy doing his final year in the academy

and he is Not Having A Good Time

it’s a really difficult year for him because so many of his friends have graduated, been scattered all across the globe, living lives that ja’marr only ever catches glimpses of through interviews on TV or hushed gossip in the hallways

and of course they all try to stay in contact as much as possible—justin tries to visits him every second weekend, their group chat is active enough that ja’marr has to comb through over two-hundred messages each evening before going to sleep, clyde sends him pictures of the sunset in melbourne, grant plays call of duty when ja’marr has trouble falling asleep—but it’s different

joe also comes by a lot in those first few months, but eventually his visits turn sporadic and increasingly short-lived as he starts climbing the ranks in LA

they don’t do much—ja’marr is still nursing a leg injury he got during combat training and it’s not like there’s much to do at the academy anyway—so they mostly just hang out in ja’marr’s room

ja’marr’s getting joe up to date on the latest gossip and how rehab is going

joe reciprocating by telling ja’marr about this hidden cove he found on one of his morning runs, how much ja’marr would like LA, how he can’t wait to show him one day

they have sex that leaves ja’marr feeling horrible and scooped-out, emotions all tangled up, spilling out wrong

(i don’t have a concrete idea of what exactly their relationship status would be like at this point in time. it’s a little complicated—except for all the ways in which it really isn’t; they probably started sleeping with each other sometime in the middle of ja'marr's second year in the academy and just. never really stopped. took a break for a few months, maybe, during that period of time when justin and joe were teaming up fairly regularly in the simulator)

but it probably started kind of like this:

they’re in ja’marr’s room after a session in the simulator. both of them on his bed (joe reading, ja’marr playing some random video game), legs tangled because it’s important to have that mutual point of contact when their minds are still reeling after a drop, trying to remap the boundaries of their own bodies

there’s still some residual shared sensory overlap:

ja’marr's trying to focus on his game but every couple of minutes he’ll be blinking and opening his eyes to a flicker of what joe is currently looking at; a page of his book—the letters all inky viscosity, blurring together, bleeding into one another, because joe’s too stubborn to wear his glasses—, a different angle on the TV screen—just off enough to make his body sway in place trying to compensate for the shift in perspective—, the shape of his own body—joe’s glance that’s climbing up the notches of his spine that are faintly visible through his t-shirt

before long ja’marr has given up on trying to play his game

is lying on his bed instead

head somewhere right next to joe’s heartbeat, one of his legs hitched over his thighs. nose brushing joe clavicle on every uptick of his breath

and it’s easy. uncomplicated, in a way that it normally isn’t because he doesn’t have to worry about plausible deniability in moments like these—there’s no need to masquerade the longing in his chest as anything other than not is

not when joe’s hands are quietly tightening around his hips like he’s scared ja’marr might slip away from him if he doesn’t hold onto him. not when ja’marr can feel each individual fingertip through the fabric of his shirt, can feel every point where their bodies are connected

it’s easier, in moments like these—when the aftereffects of the drifts are still clinging to his bones like wet cloth—, when both of them want nothing but being close to each other, closer closer closer, like the parts of their consciousness they had borrowed from one another are desperately trying to crawl back home

ja’marr still hasn’t opened his eyes

there’s no need to; not with joe’s eyesight that’s surging through his mind every few minutes

he sees his own eyelashes that are fluttering against his skin, long shadows bleeding all the way down his cheekbones

one of joe’s hands that is stubbornly curled into the hem of his shirt

his thumb pressing into the indentation right below ja’marr’s ear

and then suddenly

he hears his name being called; gentle and steady, quiet like a secret joe’s been carrying around for years and is only now entrusting to him

palm sliding down ja’marr’s face and curving around his jaw, heavy with the weight of something that has been building, building, building for months now

and then joe is leaning in and ja’marr is rising to meet him

feels himself kissing and being kissed at the same time—still halfway in between their two minds—and it’s barely more than a tentative brush of lips at first but it feels more intimate than anything they’ve ever done

because ja’marr makes a tiny, desperate noise in the back of his throat and joe licks it right ouf of his mouth and the possessiveness of it settles somewhere deep in his stomach

and it’s the closest ja'marr has ever felt to him, even though they’ve been in the drift enough times that he feels like he has known joe forever. carries a permanent imprint of him beneath his skin

anyway. from this point on. well. pretty regular post-drift sex that slowly turns into regular sex just. whenever they both feel like it. and it’s very messy because obviously they don’t talk about any of it

gets even worse after joe leaves for LA. their communication takes a big hit (both the frequency and the ease of it), since so much of it was predicated on living in each other’s pockets, seeing each other five hours a day during training and sim sessions, and literally dripping into each other’s consciousness for the majority of it all

like, if you’ve spent literal years living in the back of someone’s mind, i just feel like it would be so strange to suddenly not have that anymore

and having to sort of relearn how to communicate outside of the drift. figuring out how to read one another without the added help of that mental connection

ja’marr’s throat is closing up anytime he wants to speak up because everything feels strange and unsure and unspeakable now that they actually have to put it into words instead of letting the silent, unacknowledged truth of it ebb and flow through their shared consciousness

anyway, like i said, joe still comes by whenever he can make the time

all of their conversations are stilted and unsure

and it feels especially awful sometimes because joe will be talking to him and halfway through his sentence his accent slips into something else entirely—a pronunciation he borrowed from tyler, or that liquid drawl tee’s voice carries sometimes when he’s half asleep and his syllables start bleeding into each other. and ja’marr suddenly can’t bear to look at him anymore because it feels like the person he loves is slipping away from him minute by minute; like anytime they see each other there is another part of him that got lost in translation and ja’marr doesn’t know how to undo this slow, monstrous unraveling

doesn’t know how to love joe anymore, not when he’s like this—barely half of how ja’marr remembers him, almost a stranger, someone who has given so many pieces of himself away to others for safekeeping

doesn’t know how to hold onto him anymore, doesn’t even know if joe still wants him to

so, yeah, all in all ja’marr would not have a great time during that year, trying to rehab his fucked up leg and stubbornly refusing to acknowledge how lonely and heartbroken he feels

and some nights—in the privacy of his room, when he allows those feelings of abandonment and bitterness to bloom in his chest instead of closing his fist around them and suffocating them right there and then—he watches interviews with the people joe is drifting with in LA

and it makes him feel even more horrible about himself because they seem nice

(people he could have been friends with in a different life, under different circumstances)

(watches so many interviews and talkshow appearances that it almost feels like he knows them—and it’s easy to feel like he actually does because he has listened to tyler boyd talk about the drawing his daughter brought home from daycare the other day and the book he’s been reading to her over facetime whenever he knows he won’t make it home for bedtime. when he’s watched tee higgins ramble about cars and the jellyfish aquarium he’s been secretly keeping in his room in LA and how he got into sooo much trouble for it once it got discovered)

and, like i said, all of them seem sweet and kind and genuine

but every now and again ja’marr’s gaze catches on the way tee’s eyes go all squinty and tight when a camera shutter goes off right in his face, or when the beam of the studio lights hits him at a certain angle

or how tyler’s lower lip pushes forward into the little pout joe does sometimes when he’s been asked a question he doesn’t know if he has an answer to

all of which are mannerism that are so painfully familiar to ja’marr because it used to be him that was borrowing them

who traced the shape of them in the mirror; fingers trembling, each touch laced with reverence and awe

and suddenly there’s all this anger coiling up tightly in his stomach when he thinks about how much of joe he used to have—and how much of him is being stolen away from him

and ja’marr tries really hard not to think about how much time tee and joe must be spending together

how many hours in the simulator it must have taken for joe’s frown to leave such a permanent imprint on the ridges of joe mixon’s face

but i suppose it would also go the other way around:

one of the interviewers asks tee a question—softball, about growing up in tennessee, or his favourite restaurant in LA—and right before tee goes to answer, he does that little thing: a barely-there tilt of his head, shy smile stretching the corner of his mouth

and ja’marr suddenly feels like he might throw up

because he has seen joe do that exact thing before

in the privacy of ja’marr’s room, one of those weekends joe had come to visit, one of those afternoons they had spent in each other’s orbits, so close they were practically sharing breaths

when he thought that the world had narrowed down to the intimacy of that moment: joe’s fingers curled losely around his wrist, thumb pressed to his pulse point until ja’marr could feel his heartbeat resonating through both of their bodies—a steady badum, badum, badum—, his chest tight and heavy with the significance of the moment; like he was breathing for both of them, somehow, like he had two hearts pulsating against his ribcage

but in reality it hadn’t been private or intimate at all. instead tee higgins had been there with them; clawing at parts of joe, ripping him away rib by rib until there had been nothing left of him for ja’marr

—

ANYWAY fast forward to when ja’marr arrives in LA

gets brought up to date regarding joe’s health situation (and obiously clocks immediately what role they expect him to play in all of this. categorically refuses at first and it probably takes, like, an honestly absurd amount of doctors and neurologists and drift-scientists to convince ja’marr that joe is stable enough to enter a simulator/jaeger without putting him at risk of worsening his current condition)

i also think that this probably opens another whole can of worms where ja’marr is kind of beating himself up over the whole thing

lot of complicated emotions going on in his head—cause we obviously all know just how seriously he takes health issues—most likely some frayed anger at joe for being this careless, putting his body on the line without considering any of the long-term effects it may have on him. without considering what it would do to his loved ones (to his friends! his family! to ja’marr!!) if anything were to happen to him

and like, you know, it’s like. death is somewhat of an expected outcome in this universe, something that’s always lingering right at the edge of everyone’s awareness

and there is probably this small, angry, selfish part of ja’marr that’s like

i love joe and it should be MY privilege to die with him. if that makes sense lmao like hes soooo mad just thinking on repeat that

if joe so insists on doing all of this self-sacrifial bullshit, he should’ve at least do it with me, he should’ve done it with me so that i can have something of his when he is gone, something permanent, wallpaper in my mind or an oil stain on my fingertips or a tattoo something permanent something painful something real

and the more ja’marr is thinking about it, the more unfair it feels to him that he has spent all these years loving joe and how he barely has anything to show for it now: no biochemical traces in his brain’s anatomy, their ghost-drift long ameliorated, no physical scars to prove how well he has loved him, how much it has ruined him, how much of joe has shaped him into the person he is today

(he is VERY dramatic here lmao just imagine nineteen year old ja’marr chase at 2am furiously scribbling all of these thoughts into his diary lmao)

but yeah, i reckon there’s probably also a fair amount of guilt masquerading as some of that self-righteous anger

like maybe he should have realised that joe was not doing well, should have noticed that he wasn’t being himself those past few months

and he kind of did

(could tell that joe had been distracted and tired. not fully filling out the shape of who ja’marr knows him to be)

but piloting can have a big toll on the mind and he knows how hard joe was working and how many expectations had been placed on his shoulders, so he probably just attributed it up to stress

—

at some point—once ja’marr’s leg has fully healed and a little bit of colour has returned to joe’s face—they enter the simulator together for the first time in a year

and ja’marr shuts down entirely within the first few seconds, like the neural handshake just doesn’t work at all because you can’t take secrets into the drift

but ja’marr is so helplessly in love with joe by this point (and simulateneously absolutely convinced that joe doesn’t feel the same) that he can’t bear the humiliation of joe finding out like this, in the drift, probably hating him for it, never wanting to speak or drift with him again etc etc

(sidenote, literally none of this would ever happen lmao joe is pretty obviously to everyone except ja’marr very much in love with him too but like. they’re both kind of stupid lol)

so, yeah, their first drift attempt fails pretty spectacularly

and ja’marr pretty much runs away

(this is where all of this would take place, i suppose)

joe finds him a few hours later and they talk

and it’s very stiltled and strange and overall kind of horrible because they haven’t really talked in a very long time and ja’marr can still feel joe’s presence in the back of his mind

uncomfortable and misplaced and intrusive, scratching across the inside of his skull, the way it sometimes is after a failed drift

he used to be pretty good at reading joe but right now he kind of feels like a stranger around him, like there’s a language barrier between them for the first time ever

and no matter how hard ja’marr tries the words just won’t come out right, all of it strange and stilted and unfamiliar; sharp edges and ragged shapes that he’s cutting his tongue on

—

i do think they figure it out eventually

their drift compatibility probably takes a while to get back to where it used to be

but now

whenever they get out of the simulator

after the drift has dripped out of their bones and left behind two minds instead of one

joe will come up to him

brush their shoulders together, silent and deliberate, and as they walk back to their room, he doesn’t let go of ja’marr hand even once

and for the first time in a very long time ja’marr braves the thought that, maybe, they’re going to be alright

ANYWAYYYYY thank you soooo much for the ask and sorryyyyyy that it's taken me such a long time to get back to you 🥲🫶❤️ omg also re: what you said about drift compatibility being the closest thing to a qr/qb relationship I AGREEEEEE truly i am always thinking about that one poem by pablo neruda that goes like: I love you like this because I don't know any other way to love, / except in this form in which I am not nor are you, / so close that your hand upon my chest is mine, / so close that your eyes close with my dreams. like!!!!!!!!!!

#this does have a happy ending btw it just takes them a long time to actually get there #tee is probably like #sooooooo invested in this #meets ja'marr for the first time and says something funny and charming something that makes ja'marr do that #hyena cackling laughing noise of his #and tee's eyes light up eyebrows raised all the way up to his hairline #glances meaningfully at joe who's standing off to the side somewhere #involved in a conversation he seems to be actively trying to escape from #then looks back at ja'marr and then goes—all smug and self-satisfied—“oh so it's like THAT”#and ja'marr doesn't know what he means until later that week when he hears joe laugh at something #and it's the exact same way he does it; all nasally and bright #and he feels something settle deep inside of him #like #yeah #maybe it IS like that #makes him feel all soft and tender that joe had kept something of his #even after months of being apart #anyway i gotta find that oneeeee videoooo of joe laughing at like???? that random ass bowling ball story or whatever the hell that was #sounding EXACTLY like ja'marr cause that's what im kinda visualising here iykwim #joe'marr pacrim au #asks

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indigothemuse · 2 months ago

Text

Mumbo- Hermit A Day May

hello!!! welcome to Mumbo's day in the eclipsed au!! (is this the official name reveal?? outside of the tags?? whoops)

I had a lot of fun writing him and doing some more world building in this au!! hope you enjoy it too <3

---

Mumbo is sure that this will work. It has to. The Electric Totem pokemon is notoriously hard to find, especially when it comes to battling. But Mumbo can’t leave the challengers disappointed!

What, is he supposed to turn them away? ‘Sorry, it doesn’t feel like battling. Come back later and maybe it will.’ No! He can’t just leave them disappointed, and he can’t hand out Electrium Z for nothing either. That’s the easiest way for him to lose his job as Trail Captain.

And Bigb will start making more frequent visits rather than just roaming the island, and Mumbo can’t handle more frequent visits from Bigb. Not after…the Incident.

So he needs a solution. Studies have shown that Electric type pokemon are attracted to electrical surges, and the Totem pokemon typically prefer a special frequency. So, if he plays the frequency and causes an electrical surge, the Totem pokemon should show up. Probably. If he does it correctly. And the Grass Trial involves a summoning method of some sort, so in theory this will work.

But can he test it? Mumbo isn’t…the best at battling. And the Totem might get mad if he battles it while he’s not a challenger. Scar doesn’t have any problems with battling his Gumshoos, and he’s heard about Lizzie and Wishiwashi’s epic battles. But what if it hates him?

He paces anxiously, fidgeting with the spring coil he picked up. Thankfully Doctors Slab and 77 did an in depth study into Totem pokemon and he can reference that. And probably (maybe) get a paper published on this. If, no when it works.

Mumbo crosses the room to his work station. The computer flickers to life with a small wiggle of the mouse, displaying the charts and graphs and research he’s done for this.

It’ll work. It has to.

“Er, Mumbo?”

“Yes?” He turns to face Xisuma, the man in charge of the facility.

“There’s a challenger on her way. Etho just messaged me to let me know that they’re on the bus.”

“Fantastic! I’ll just clean this up a little bit then—”

“It’ll go well. You’ll do a good job.”

He swallows. “But what if I don’t?”

“Then you get better for the next person. If something goes wrong, then you fix it. It’ll be fine.” X smiles reassuringly at him and Mumbo gives him a shaky smile back. “Now, why don’t you go grab something to eat? I’ll make sure that there’s enough room for someone else to stand in here.”

Mumbo huffs a small laugh. “Okay. Okay. I’ll be right back then.” He leaves X to watch the room and navigates the crowded hallways to the small break room in the back. On his way, he can’t help but glance out the window. The bus has already arrived and he can see a girl with bright red hair talking to Professor Slab.

He makes himself eat a granola bar—kept specifically for him, probably—and makes his way back to his room. X isn’t in there, but he left a note.

‘Good luck, Mumbo! You’re going to do amazing!! - X :)’

He sticks the sticky note to the frame of his computer and waits. Energy surges around him, thousands of possibilities opening up to him. Maybe it will go well. Maybe he doesn’t need to be worried. But he’s Mumbo Jumbo, so he’ll probably worry anyway. As usual.

#indi writes #hermitaday #mumbo jumbo #Eclipsed Pokémon Au #hermitcraft fanfiction #not sure what else to tag this with #I think this is the most I've written that my friend doesn't know about #-> my friend who I tell everything about this au. of course

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nerdieforpedro · 1 year ago

Text

Those Damn Hot Dogs

Chapter One of Therapy for the Well-Adjusted

My entire masterlist and blog are for readers 18+ MDNI. I do not consent to my work being used in AI, recommended on TikTok, borrowed or plagiarized.

Word Count: 1859

Warnings: Nerdie doesn’t know how the FBI works (despite watching all the crimes procedurals), one gun shot, insulting hot dogs 🌭, random book reference, a wee bit of blood, yelling & cursing

Summary: Marcus Pike was mandated to go to therapy. His journey there was very bumpy. We meet Dr. Mint and Vernon! (both OFCs)

Notes: I started this because I wanted Marcus to be a bit unhinged. Like why not? 😀

But also because I’ve had some bad experiences with therapy and some very positive ones.

Plus I enjoyed the doctor’s names way too much. I’m on my mess with puns. 😉

If you feel you need therapy or counseling, you should research the best cost effective options for you and make sure that your therapist is someone you feel comfortable with. Vibes are important in this case.

Main Masterlist/ Marcus Pike Masterlist/ AO3 Link

Marcus is talking with his therapist, Dr. Mint. He never thought he would need to see one. Not that people don’t need to see them or take their mental health seriously, they should and he does. He has to. He’s an FBI agent. Although he is in art crimes, there’s still quite a bit of shady characters, deals and crazy crap that people will do to have their art or hide how they got it.

The journey to Dr. Mint took Marcus two months from the incident to now.

The incident in question was something he never expected. Marcus Pike prided himself on being able to roll with life's punches, no matter how gut-wrenching they might be. Prior to ‘the incident’ his team were investigating possible pieces of art that were thought to have been smuggled into the country. Supposedly from California over to the East Coast. That should have been his first clue, the mention of that state. He was briefed about two consultants coming to assist since they had dealings and information of the particular ring of smugglers.

Patrick Jane and his wife Teresa Jane.

The amount of time Marcus had put into this case had been the last few months. Tracking leads, making connections, reviewing financials, flights, etc. He implored his superiors that they didn’t need their help. They’re making headway toward busting these guys without these two, especially one of them’s penchant for causing property damage and being a PR nightmare. The higher ups said that his team had enough time to find these guys and they haven’t so this case needs to be closed now. Pike didn’t understand the urgency, these were typical smugglers, not traffickers or people or drugs, but he had to back down. He would take many deep breaths and interact with them as little as possible.

Of course Patrick Jane asked to be on my team. The vest wearing, tired brown shoes having hot dog water looking bastard.

Agent Pike knew he’d have to grin and bear it. He’s a professional and a special agent. Unlike this prick, he can’t just do as he pleases. There are rules, regulations and he would like to stay gainfully employed at a job he loves. Patrick Jane nor his hot dog water loving wife Teresa will make him lose it.

The first two weeks went fine. Limited interaction, and all about the case. The third week was when they finally caught the smugglers at their warehouse. A mix of Marcus pulling up prior maps of an area outside of DC on the outskirts of the state of Virginia and Patrick seeing a pattern in pieces they were taking. The bust was running smoothly, all of them were caught except one. Marcus was chasing him and the idiot ‘not an actual agent’ Patrick decided he was somehow going to help chase the perp as well in those slippery ugly brown shoes.

It was his own fault.

Not Pike’s. He called in that he saw the suspect, let them know he was in pursuit and was chasing them. It was Jane that called himself trying to be some action hero popping out from a nearby alley to chase the same perp. Pike yelled at him to move, Patrick chose not to listen. His ass paid the price. Literally.

Some might have thought Marcus did it on purpose, especially if they knew the extremely sorted history between Patrick, Teresa and Marcus, but he truly did not. The suspect had pulled a gun and was trying to shoot Marcus, he dodged and shot the perp in the calf, disabling him enough for Pike to run over and clap cuffs on him. He then called for an ambulance.

Pike heard Patrick cursing as he was laying on the ground. Marcus thought maybe he just fell, but there was blood, not from the suspect. Jane was bleeding from his ass, the bullet had grazed him before hitting the suspect. Before Marcus could hold it in, and remain professional he laughed. Not a chuckle or snicker but a full, down on both knees next to the perp laugh. Which made the smuggler laugh as well. Teresa and the other agents made their way over and wondered what an agent and criminal could find so funny. Mrs. Hot Dog became hysterical that Patrick was bleeding so of course he leaned into it, shaking where he hadn’t been before.

Marcus and the suspect watched and looked at each other, “That’s some bullshit my guy.” Pike agreed. Standing up holding the suspect in front of him, he took him over to be booked and processed.

Patrick was taking his sweet time getting off the ground and Teresa was beginning to yell at Marcus, telling him that she’d have his badge for harming her Patrick.

Marcus Pike had enough. He requested to not have them in this case, asked to be reassigned, and has kept interactions to a minimum. He didn’t ask Patrick to chase a suspect. He’s a consultant. He’s not supposed to be doing it anyway!

Uncharacteristically, Marcus yelled and told Teresa to “keep her hot dog water looking man out of the way of FBI business. Had he not been here, the suspect wouldn’t have shot him. Jane needs to stay in his lane and keep all his hot dog foolishness over there.” Teresa was going to say something else, “You don’t say shit to me. You left me then, how am I supposed to know you’re going to do your damn job in the field if you didn’t even have the backbone to tell me no face to face or over the phone. You didn’t ask what actually happened! Put a bun on him to soak up his blood and hot dog water.”

Everyone was silent, even Jane.

No one expected Marcus to say anything, let alone admonishing Patrick and Teresa’s behavior. Everyone knew it was a lot but Pike had been a consummate professional during their entire time here.

Teresa was mortified and started to cry. Jane finally got up and limped over to the supervising agent who just told him to go over to the ambulance to get checked out.

No one directly addressed it, not until the Jane’s were gone and they threw a party. Marcus was invited but he declined. He’d been put out on administrative leave and was at home tuning his bass guitar. Wondering about what they said. They suggested he take some time off, cool his head and could come back after some counseling session.

Marcus had tried to go to the FBI one but it ended on a weird note. The initial meeting went well, but the small older woman asked for a hug. She said that Marcus resembled her former husband. He politely declined and told his supervisors that it wasn’t going to work with the FBI’s counselor.

Pike now had two weeks to find one he could see and clear him. His colleague Mark, suggested one that had helped him and his wife during a rough period in their marriage:

Dr. Mint of “Mint and Julep Counseling: Helping therapy go down smooth.”

The name and the tagline made Marcus chuckle and highly suspicious so he researched them, Mark vouched for the group of counselors and doctors. It’s worth a try. It had to be better than the last one.

Marcus wore his red flannel shirt, open exposing his white t-shirt underneath. Rubbing his hands on his dark wash jeans, getting the sweat off them, he opened the glass door leading into the reception area. The colors were neutral: white, tan, gold and gray. There was a friendly older gentleman at the desk who wore and striking green sweater and had bi-focals, peering at Marcus upward, maybe trying to look through the upper half of the glasses.

“Good afternoon sir, here for an appointment?”

“Yes I am. New patient for Dr. Mint. Marcus Pike. Nice to meet you sir.”

“Oh! You’re early, that’s nice. Wait there. Did you want some water? I’ll let them know you’re here. Should be finishing up with the previous patient shortly.” The gentleman informed him and Marcus took a seat on one of the black leather chairs.

He waited about ten minutes, he’d been fifteen minutes early. It was easier to find than he thought and it was in a stand alone building rather than in a strip mall. It was near a Panera and a Dunkin’s so Marcus had some landmarks for it.

Dr. Mint has sepia bangs which seems to be their natural hair color. The rest of their hair is cut close and is dyed a deep plum color. Normally Marcus might have taken a pause given that they’re also wearing a cream sweater that looks one size too big for them with black slacks and loafers, but they shake his hand and have a strong grip. Pike respects this and follows the good doctor to his office. The agent figures it can’t be worse than the last therapist. Dr. Mint is a few inches taller than Marcus but thin, willowy he might say. Something about him invokes trust, could be their sharp jaw and or that once they sit and Marcus begins talking about what happened with the two hot dogs, he sees something in their dark brown eyes that he didn’t with the other therapists. Dr. Mint didn’t think he’d lost his mind.

Pike’s luck has finally changed.

The doctor thanked Marcus for coming to see them and hoped that he would make a future appointment. They also stated that given the pressure he was under and the specific circumstances, they weren’t sure there was a right way to approach the situation.

“I mean, it is kinda funny. If you think about it, Dr. Mint.” Marcus departs their office and makes an appointment for later in the week with Vernon, the front desk gentleman. On his way out, he held the door for a woman in a cobalt dress, she thanked him and smiled. Pike felt his eyes linger on her for a few moments as she went to the desk and checked in with Vernon too. She sat down, crossing her legs at her ankles after setting her black tote back in a chair next to her. She was on her phone for a few and then pulled her bag into her lap, making herself smaller despite the waiting room being empty save for the man behind the desk.

Marcus wondered what brought her to this place, it could be anything. Her blue dress stuck out in his mind and he remembered there was a book about a woman in a blue dress, what was it called? He stopped to grab a salad and soup from Panera before heading home.

“Wait…” Marcus pulled into his parking space outside of his apartment building. “Devil in the blue dress, I think it’s by Walter Mosley. Wasn’t that a movie too? Maybe I should watch it tonight.” As tonight’s feature was decided, he set about trying to find which streaming service it would be on.

Marcus felt he made a good choice today.

Hot dog haters 🌭: @megamindsecretlair @jessthebaker @avastrasposts @jeewrites @josephquinnswhore

@bishtrouille @readingiskeepingmegoing @survivingandenduring @morallyinept @angelofsmalldeath-codeine

@soft-persephone @soft-girl-musings @rosecentaur1916 @rulexofxnines @inept-the-magnificent

Chapter Two

#pedro pascal characters #fanfiction #pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfiction #marcus pike #marcus pike x plus size reader #Marcus pike x plus size ofc #therapy for the well-adjusted #a Nerdie series

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melloneah · 11 months ago

Note

this is all for the writer ask!!! :3 hope it's not too much >_<" answer the ones you're comfortable answering and don't force yourself to answer all of them if you don't want to! <3

🌵🥤🌻🍄📚 🍬🔪🥐🏜🦋🐝🧩

EHEHEHEHEHHE NEVER TOO MUCH THANK U SMMMMMM 🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

i dont really listen to premade playlists, so ill link mine >:333 this is a playlist i made for a roadtrip to berlin, including all the songs i was listening to at the time, and ive since been adding new ones actively, so it's literally just a huge list of everything i love :D 🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

first of all gonna plug my besties ofc @levi-dayne writes sick ass fics for death note @uriekukistan writes amazing itafushi angst (and not only :33) SENDING BOTH OF THEM SMOOCHES GO READ THEIR STUFF! and a fic that id read recently and LOVEDDD was all about love by fullvoid (@casgore on here :3) the yuuji characterisation broke my heart - it was a gutwrenchingly real way of depicting mental illness, and i loved seeing how different he acted around people vs alone. and it was super cool seeing a healed megumi helping yuuji rather than the other way around!!! HIGHLY RECOMMEND!!!!

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis FIRST OF ALL U!!!!!! i love the mutual interactions THANK U FOR BEING HERE!!!! @alonelystargazer is very sweet and i interact with her pretty regularly i feel :3 THANK U FOR INTERACTING WINNIE!!!!<3 cant think of anymore rn but if i do i WILL edit this post TRUST 🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

megumi likes penne but yuuji hates it so they always disagree over pasta shape if theyre making it for dinner. yuuji always wins bc his favourite is spaghetti and obviously everyone likes spaghetti so megumi doesnt bother fighting him on it 📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

HEHEHEHEH nervous. lets see "what kinda gay shit goes on around here when im not around" LMAO the choso x todo wip in action. what a quote thank u past me. you'll find out the context once i post it sjdhfgsjhfks

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

hmmmmm from random shit i think like. 1980s window designs in england lmaooo

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh

answered here :333

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

ARRGRHRG ANY COMMENT. i get so excited u cant even imagine. i sometimes type 'AO3' in my gmail just to delude myself that i got a comment and get that little pang of joy seeing the notif 😭 my favvvv must be ones that quote certain lines tho bc then im like HEY!!!! I WROTE THAT!!!! U LIKED THAT??? DUDE UR NOT GONNA BELIEVE THIS I WROTE IT

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

i feel like an everpresent topic ive had on my mind especially often for the last year is kindness. there's a multitude of things i could say, whether that's bashing people for lacking it, or get all teary over how beautiful it is (which!! it is!!!) but i think what ive recently discovered is that it's my only constant :3 when everything else goes wrong, that's all i have, and im really happy it's second nature to me (altho im still actively working on making myself better!!!!)

yeah, maybe everything sucks right now, but i know i can make someone else's day better :3 and often it makes things a little more okay to me too

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

RAHHGHG BESTIES. question for the bestiessss

@levi-dayne is so dear to my heart!!! such a sweet and kind person, who truly and deeply cares about others!!!! makes music, writes well AND ALSO DRAWS??!!! amazing and super talented person with super high ambitions too!!! SO SLAYFUL. what did i do to deserve such a slayful friend<333

@uriekukistan is one of the most naturally talented ppl i know!!!!! they write amazing fics, can DANCE super well, and took up drawing like 3 seconds ago and are already churning out really cool stuff on a fucking TOUCHPAD. ON THEIR LAPTOP. gofundme for rin graphic art kit when?? also ofc. a really good friend and very kind person :3333 <333

ILYSM BESTIESSSS

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

from a writing style perspective: first person and tense switches

from a content perspective: anything fucked up like noncon or incest....how tf are they often not tagged like??? or putting that at the bottom of the warnings list 😭 oh yea im far more concerned about swearing and underage drinking......

something im picky abt that sometimes annoys me enough to click off but i feel like it's just a weird personal preference is the overuse of alternatives to a characters name. so using "the brunette" like 5 times. just say his name!!!!! it's ok!!!!!

RAHHHHHH i usually reread my answers before i post but not this time. adios fuckers i dont remember what bullshit i wrote here but ur left with the consequences. if u wanna deal with even more of my terrible takes ASK ME STUFF

#it's 4 am #this was unwise #BYE #ask #ask game

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xxsycamore · 2 years ago

Text

WEAKNESS OF A GOD

╰┈➤ Scien experiences the effects of neglecting a bothersome bodily need that he couldn't get rid of. Lucky for him, he has a maid who is always so ready to be at his service - not even waiting to hear what this is all about.

Scien Brofiise x f!Reader • rating: E (MDNI) • tags: Master/Servant; Blow Jobs; Sexual Inexperience; Virginity; Choking; Come Eating; Praise Kink • wordcount: 2,409 • masterlist

a/n: This takes place fairly at the beginning of Scien's route, but still be wary of spoilers. After having my mind in the gutter throughout it, and now while playing the rest of the routes too... I just had to take a pause and get this out of my chest...

It's not long after the beginning of yet another day of being Scien Brofiise's maid when it happens.

"Ahhhh, how burdensome. I just can't work like this."

The sudden groan of frustration startles you, as you're used to Scien being completely silent while he works, ensuring nothing is breaking his concentration. You pause your ministrations of preparing a plate with the sandwiches you brought for him, turning to face him with concern written across your face.

"Was I being too loud? I'm sorry…"

"It's not about you. Just an annoying bodily function I've yet to find a way to get rid of. I've been putting off the research about this since it rarely bothers me. But when it does, it can be very irritating and long-lasting."

You let out a small hum in understanding, even though… you don't really understand. Scien is a genius; if whatever he's referring to is proving to be hard for him to tackle, then it must be something serious.

"Can I help somehow?"

The sharp rustling sound of paper announces him showing attention by lowering his study papers to meet your gaze. His eyes are as icy as you always remember them to be, his mouth relaxed in a slight frown which you often read as disapproval. It makes you instantly regret your humble suggestion - how can you be so foolish as to expect you can be of help where his diamond mind couldn't come up with a solution on its own?

"You're fast to offer your help as always. You haven't even heard what this is about."

"W-Well, I thought since I'm your maid…that would be my job. To help you out so you don't have to get distracted from your work…!"

Just as I feed you during the day and do things in your stead, you don't say out loud.

The corner of Scien's mouth lifts in a smirk.

"What a good maid I've picked. Come here."

The sudden praise catches you off-guard, as Scien rarely gives you any and especially not before you get the job done. It's almost as if you're starting to see some sudden shift in his aura that you've never seen before. Being around him for so long sharpened your senses to even subtle changes in his demeanor, but at the end of the day he remains too complex to be figured out. It prods at your curiosity, and like the good maid you've been called, you're quick to comply and stride to his side.

He's sitting at his desk this morning, not yet having resorted to using the couch or the floor for maximizing his comfort, likely due to doing more note-taking than reading at the moment. The sound of a chair dragging across the floor can be heard just in time as you arrive next to the desk, and your eyes dart down to see…

Scien having a more than noticeable hard-on tenting his white trousers.

Your mouth falls open and you hurry to shift your gaze away, bringing your hands in front of your mouth and face in an attempt to hide your embarrassing reaction to the even more embarrassing sight.

Scien doesn't as much as move a muscle to hide the obscure display or to soothe your panic. He treats this the same way he treats every other thing in your day-to-day interactions as a master and maid.

"What has gotten into you, are you some kind of a blushing maiden? Well, I suppose you are one, practically."

He puts his chin in his hand, tweaking his calculations as to how this piece of information affects what he's going to ask of you. He helps paint the picture for you, seeing how lost you are.

"As I said, this is just a normal bodily function. Even though I modified my body to remove such useless things that only manifest as an obstacle in the way of my work… It seems like the root of the cause is not an emotion per se. It has to do with hormone shifts that are highly unpredictable and hard to control. Both ignoring the problem and tending to it is a pain in the ass for me."

Scien adopts that mildly irritated look on his face that you've trained yourself at curing to your best extent, and despite the cataclysm going on inside your head, you pick up the pattern of logic in what he's saying. There's always solid logic behind what he's saying, you know better than to doubt him.

Going in that direction of thought, even if you're yet to lower your hands from where they cover your heated cheeks…

"What if someone else takes care of it for you?"

"Eureka. So you're not as virgin-minded as you appeared to be just a second ago."

His words send another wave of hot embarrassment through you, but this time it strangely nestles low in your belly. Your hands awkwardly fall to your sides, fingers twitching a little as if unsure of what to do next.

"Are you still willing to do this?"

Scien asks, and you recognize no traces of impending disappointment in his gaze. He asks you not as a maid, but as a woman.

Either way, the answer is yes.

The nodding of your head must have looked overexcited to him, because he lets out a small chuckle that makes your heart hammer in your chest.

"Well, a good starting point would be getting down on your knees."

Oh. He must have noticed your hesitation and is quick to give you directions… which you follow just as quickly, falling to your knees rather clumsily. You also failed to consider where you're best positioned for that task - namely, under his desk, if you want him to keep working comfortably on his research.

Scien seems not to mind the display of you crawling on all fours under the desk, if not being rather amused by it, judging by the way his eyes follow your every movement.

Out of every daze-inducing imagery that popped up in your head in the short duration of finding yourself where you currently are, the sight right in front of you right now is one you weren't prepared for. Being between the legs of Scien Brofiise as he nonchalantly works at bringing prosperity to your nation, making it look all so effortless as getting pleasured at the same time does little to distract him… you feel like you're servicing a God.

Seeing his hard bulge up close, you fight back your own shameless thoughts and hurry to get started. He must be aching with arousal by now, ignoring it for so long…

Before you can reach out and tackle the unfamiliar task of undoing a man's pants, a larger pair of hands come to interfere. To your surprise Scien does it in your stead, probably assuming that you'll struggle with that part too…

If anything, it only makes you more eager to prove your reliability. Your hands bump into Scien's but you don't let the accident dampen your confidence, as you prepare yourself mentally.

However, seeing his now freed cock is nothing you could've possibly be prepared for - even though you had a general idea of what his genitals are supposed to look like, Scien's size is…

"So big…"

"Did you say something, maid?"

Gulping down the lump in your throat, you shake your head before remembering Scien won't be able to see your non-verbal response, so you mumble something instead.

"It's nothing… please concentrate on your work, Scien."

The ambient noises of him working resume as if to confirm that this is indeed what he intended to do, and you have a moment to catch your breath. The twitching monster of a cock before you remains in its full-mast glory, demanding to be pleasured, and you know you should get to work.

Wrapping your hand around it curiously, you wonder what kind of motion would be best to start with. It seems like your single hand does a poor job of covering its whole length, so you try using your other hand as well. Curling your hands together back and forth slowly, you desperately wait for a sign, anything, that would indicate you're doing things correctly. If Scien experiences arousal, does that mean he experiences pleasure as well? Or would he just reach his climax without warning and then tell you to come out from under the desk once it's all over?

Scien doesn't know this, but you're actually a really bad maid. Instead of caring about his relief, you care for those dirty, selfish things…

You feel his hot flesh pulsing in your hands, and you take note of the reaction. Instead of massaging him, you try different movements, like pumping him, and he seems to like it better. But you're not sure how long you should do this. Scien is probably asking you to fellate him, and if the tiny bits of knowledge you possess about this are to be trusted, then you're supposed to take him in your…

Parting your lips, you find your mouth watering at the thought of inserting his cock inside it. Though there shouldn't be anything pleasurable for you in the act, this is somehow exciting. You wet your lips before preparing to take him in, feeling a bit intimidated by the task because of Scien's size.

As expected, only a small part of his cock can fit inside your mouth. You whimper around it, disappointed in yourself, wondering if this requires some kind of training. Remembering to use your hands as well, you caress the remaining part of his length while simultaneously sucking on his cock.

The sensation is… weird. It makes your head dizzy, to have something that big in your mouth, it also makes you feel full in an unexpected way. You're fairly sure this kind of stimulation serves as resembling intercourse, but you never thought much about the party that does the pleasuring in this act. If your mouth feels this full of Scien, would it be the same in your lower parts? Wouldn't he feel even bigger down there with how tight it is? Can you make him feel nice with your body just like you do with the suction of your mouth? Despite the large part of your focus falling on your upper half right now, the place between your legs screams in neglect like it never did before. You can all but feel your core clenching, and without realizing it, you sync the act of hollowing out your cheeks with it.

If Scien keeps having such troublesome bodily needs, would he be opposed to the idea of you seeking out better methods to help him out?

The thought makes you shiver, and you can't recognize yourself. The effect he has on you has made itself known since the very first day you met him, yet you failed to notice just when you got here, hoping for such perverse things.

And then you hear it - a moan.

"Ahh…"

At first, you don't believe your ears - even with the big mass of flesh in your mouth muffling your own sounds, you can barely keep them at bay, and thus making it easy to mistake it for your own. But the way it rolls out of his throat, hoarse and darkly, you're sure it was him.

With the need inside you set ablaze, you squeeze your legs together and begin pleasuring him with a new vigor, now confident that you're doing the right thing. You want to hear it more - Scien's blissful moans as he approaches his climax. The muscles of his legs are somehow stiffer now, as if he's at his limit, opening them a little wider to allow you to be between them more comfortably. The sound of his pen sliding on the paper goes from consistent and smooth to a rapid screech, as if he's scratching out a mistake, only to die out completely in the next moment, pen set down and rolling across the desk.

"You're doing a good job. Keep going."

There's something urgent in his voice, as if he's trying his hardest to guide you without letting out a broken moan, and it makes you whine around the cock inside your mouth. Knowing that you broke his concentration almost made you rethink your strategy at pleasuring him, so you're a bit surprised to hear him praising you for your job instead of scolding you. You don't need him to tell you twice; you keep your pace, moving your head up and down despite the saliva accumulating at the corners of your mouth and sliding down your chin. You're a bit messy for a maid, but anything that makes Scien happy is the right thing to do.

Eager to make him meet his climax, you don't realize how hard you try to take more of his length inside your mouth, until it's too late.

"Nghhh…!"

Not familiar with your own limits, the tip of Scien's cock hits the back of your throat, making your eyes fill with tears instantly. It seems like this served as the final push to send him over the edge, as Scien groans out some kind of profanity you've never heard before, and spills against your unguarded throat.

"Ahhh….mmm…"

His thick, salty spurts of cum make you choke as you fail to drink them down, and send you into a coughing fit.

While your eyes are tightly shut in an attempt to focus on calming yourself down, you register a delicate touch on your cheek.

You open your eyes to see Scien looking down at you with something akin to worry on his face, that morphs into a content smile the very moment your coughing fit passes. The warmth of his hand spilling through the black glove makes you melt, and you nuzzle into the caress shamelessly. Scien seems to not mind at all, and when you take a better look at his face, another pang of arousal rushes down to your nethers. You've never seen him like this; with his face reddened and his eyes darkened with lust. He's looking at you differently now, in a way he doesn't usually do.

You guess that even Gods have their weaknesses.

Smiling weakly with your teary eyes and with come smeared on your lips, you summon the last remains of your composure.

"You can now focus on your research, Scien!"

Taglist: @arsnovacadenza @ale-teodora @kimi00twin @otomelady @privilegedpancake @g-kleran @thesirenwashere @ravenarld @kimmy-banana @devonares @galaxyprison @sadshaxk @starshards26 @thewitchofbooks @acethephoenix256 @ikevamp-shrine-2 @nad-zeta @crystal13unny @lordsister @ikemen-banshou @themysticalbeing @otome-scribbles @rhodolitesrose @coornn @kpop-and-otome @queen-dahlia @kisara-16 @chaosangel767 @ikemenlibrary @queengiuliettafirstlady @aurora-morning @aquagirl1978 @ikemenlover24 @mcofthemansion @joy-the-reader @katriniac @ikemen-writer @tele86 @lovely-bubb1es @aria-chikage @babyblue0t7 @rhodoliteschaos @shrimpy-kitsune @nightghoul381 @xbalayage @lucyw260 @kittygrimm88 @lokis-laugh @judejazza @lemeowade Let me know if you want to be tagged/untagged!

#shuuen no virche #virche evermore #scien brofiise #virche spoilers #shuuen no virche scien #virche evermore scien #otome #otome fanfic #otome games

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mapsofnonexistentplaces · 1 year ago

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🎹🧊🧠 for ISEL !!!

🎹 - Do they have any hobbies?

QUITE A FEW ve’s notably fond of just researching birds and training ver eye for identifying them (which is a bit of a romantic hobby considering birds don’t exist naturally on the train); ve writes some poetry and snapshot bits of prose every now and then though has never really written a ‘complete’ work or anything, it’s a bit too taxing on the mind and it usually ends up frustrating ver; ve plays the piano every now and then and often tries to mess with overlaying twin melodies or shifting time signatures, ve was taught the instrument as a kid since ver parents were very insistent on ver knowing an instrument; by the time the story starts ve’s fully sunken back into ver old passion for painting, which ve’d retreated from for a while in the wake of worsening disability, ve was afraid of disappointing verself… fairly sure that covers all the major ones. OH ve’s also fond of listening to music especially in the form of like. what’s seen as exceptionally old-fashioned vinyls by the 22nd century. most of the records ve owns oscillate between 80s-2000s glam rock and prog metal albums ^_^

🧊 - Is their current design the first one?

NAH he’s gone through a couple of changes. this was the very first ‘reference’ i made of ver. general form of the outfit didn’t change much but MAN did the rest of ver do

for comparisons sake this is ver most recent ref. HOWEVER it is missing some minor new details i draw in nowadays, namely his beard carrying some patches of white hairs

🧠 - What do you like most about the OC?

honestly so much. making this dude up quelled a lot of dysphoria i was having at the time, gave me a lot more confidence about my own bad eye and the way it affects my drawing process, in general helped expel a lot of frustration that seemed obscure wrt being disabled and doing art…. but i think the most distinct thing is and always has been managing ver speaking style in dialogue because it’s very heavily steeped in my own ability to unwittingly sound overly formal and theatrical, alongside my own frequent grammatical and homophone-based mistakes. like isel retains a lot of my linguistic troubles and i specifically note down verbal mistakes i or my friends make to use in dialogue for ver, i usually don’t edit ver dialogue much and sort of revel in it being very instinct-based, if it sounds goofy or overdone i leave it as is…. it’s fun being able to just go full stream of consciousness for a character. :+)

#ccsimulacrum #ccs.text #ask

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minmin-pal · 2 years ago

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ahh aighto, so following the guide list and watching part 1 n 2 in close succession, 3 then 4 then rohan ova, then 5 and 6. on the liveaction one, ngl i wouldn't really have much complaints about the fact it's not art, always fun to experience a fandom in its entirety like all the cool different mediums and stuff like that, especially for how long jjba's been going on for, there's so much to explore :D

okay not gonna lie, i may have desperately needed that warning about no characters being safe lol i get way too invested and attached to them so the head's up is appreciated ;; (/gen) i don't know why i'm kind of very curious about that though now, i haven't seen any author ever just straight up kill of characters (well i have but ya know?) especially main ones? got me on the edge of my seat now ngl. i'm also wondering whether i should just stave off the manga for now till after i finish the anime and that jazz, dunno to be able to binge the manga and feel it properly tbh

and ohh alright, i was reading another guide just now and it linked the "Stone Ocean OP / Opening" from yt and i see what you mean by cgi, i dunno how they do that so i'll assume it's like 3d models, the way the 3d bits fit the 2d animation style looked so cool and aaa the expressions are just so uniquely styled and all from what i've seen of a 1 minute clip lol but glad u were still able to enjoy the season tho tbh (/pos)

and oh!! there's tarot connections? aa i'm so excited to see how they do that, it's always super fun to see those small little references and u can giggle since your like "yay i got that ref :D" (/lh/hj) might have to grab some kind of bingo to see how many refs i catch haha (/j) but alrighty, noted, no research on kira will be committed, i mean aside from me searching for his design yesterday lol (/lh)

i don't know if it classifies as spoilers much but from the guide i read it said that around part 3 they switched to entities called strands with random powers? that was basically the gist of what i got before i stopped reading so is that one of the differences that separate part 1/2? but oh wait what? why would they say to skip :(? isn't it just more fun in general to start from the very, very start? and oh! joseph! i believe you've mentioned him before but i never heard of jonathan before, his hair looks super cool tho omg and no cause fr :( the uniqueness is part of the appeal isn't it? jjba already has the reputation of being: funky, unique and just being so alive, i don't get how someone would start watching an anime with a rep like that and not watch the first 2 seasons just cause ;; (/lh) awh help i'm getting attached to joseph now, he sounds so sweet tbh (/pos)

and yooo i get why you said "they really did that just cause they could" now" tbh that's a tad more impressive as opposed to just doing the special effects to big scenes, kinda feels like a flex about the artistic control they got over the season tbh (ya know, since like- creators don't really often get that much artistic autonomy with their shows anymore?) i really like that bit now actually ill be honest (/gen)

and yes rohan is for real representing all side-characters doomed to only appearing for like 5 minutes or having no voice lines lol (/joke/lh) but ahh i'm actually interested in his character development now, the sillyness of him being the only one that could publish manwha properly whilst everyone else couldn't has piqued my interest xD (/lh) oh wait no, your point does actually make a lot of sense though if people demand utter copies from canon then it wouldn't really be as fun tho i dunno, creative liberties are very cool and ngl i could see it somewhat bombing if they did make it irl anime type ya know? idk but seems like the kind of thing twt would poke fun at :') (/lh) i'm glad about how it seemed to turn out though, poster looks super cool too

and oHH you like aot? yay :D! i haven't watched in a while but unfortunately, i may have spoiled myself- kind of? i've seen the designs and new art style but the lore lost me even before i last watched a couple of years ago, have you caught up with the manga? what's your thoughts on the story and just general stuff like that if you don't mind me asking? feel free to not censor spoilers for this one, my brain's already pieced together bits of lore whenever aot would go trending on social media lol (/lh/nf) but yay hope you had fun with your brother while you watched it! (/gen)

i dunno why i always imagined that motion to be like a croak-type 'laugh' lol, but yeah denji's character definitely seems very funny haha tho course there's the serious story bits, not sure why but he actually somewhat reminds me of mineta? albeit of course denji's a lot more fleshed out and established (i'm not really caught up with the bnha manga so i dunno how mineta is currently, though tbh the similarities kind of end with their primary motivations centering women? (i dunno if i phrased that right, i hope the idea got thru tho ;; /lh)

wait oh noo, i've seen the anime already but this clip compilation is actually so sweet omg ;; i love yor but for some reason the first few episodes of loid being practically a single dad has my heart in a vice grip lol, they really did do the family dynamic between them so well (/gen) and ohh what are your thoughts on uhm- what's his name? yuri briar? yeah that's his name, the uncle and niece dynamic between him and anya was adorable to see lol

i finally found an proper working site with the english trans for the comic lol, i myt finish it in abt a day so i can ask some indepth questions about that when i do :D (if you don't mind ofc!) ngl being able to relate to a character however flawed really shows how well the writing was done (/pos) and wait that frame actually looks so pretty omg?? the artstyle is to be adored tbf, there's so many details and you can almost tell the emotions even without the text woah. and ohh! wait his been your layouts? i saw the holding knife banner but i didn't recognize the artstyle till you pointed it out (/lh)

help naur, disliking sm that you don't remember his name is very cool lmao(/hj/lh) but oof, i already don't like him from this one frame i see, ah- i'm kind of excited to see this dude that comes before him now lol. and yeah the 'brown haired boy' archetype is definitely a hit or miss, have you ever watched 'a silent voice' by any chance? i can see your fond of found family/slice of life and genres like 'killer in love' (assuming you read from the genre /lh, eng is failing me rn im srry) what are your feelings or thoughts on other genres? maybe like- time travel/romance/reincarntion (is that just isekai actually?)/comedy/action maybe? i heard shield hero was pretty popular, do you like that?

honestly, i get how you feel about one piece ngl:') i've watched a ton of analysis videos on that but it's always a whiplash to see the diversity in the male characters then see the female characters, coming from a vid i watched they said "It's like there's no middle ground, your either made into the standard body type (the girls in the images:') ya attached ) or your made 'grotesque' (the video cues a photo of big mama)" tbf i don't actually know big mama's character and there isn't really anything wrong with being that weight but i do get the gist of the idea the vid was talking about (artstyle side ofc),

and oh, i''m gonna be honest i've never actually understood the whole highlight thing, i always assumed they were all sweating when i saw the shine if that makes sense (/hj/lh) but yeah, i can get how it's p much a redflag or at least can makes someone uncomfy (/gen)

and yay, ty for clarifying on that, i don't realize how much the text piles up till i send the ask ngl, and oh wait- i never really noticed the ideas might have felt disconnected tbh, flowed p fine for me though i may just not have noticed it /lh)

and oh, i don't really mind it lmao, feel free to call me mikey or custard (it actually sounds silly in a /lh way lmao haha /pos/lh) feel free to choose whichever, i don't really mind tbh

last bit- omg min (r you alright with me calling u that btw?/nf) did jjba s1 outro make the "we'll be right back" meme sound?? i'm questioning everything i know rn (/j/lh)

happy morning (very long response)

(also poorly formatted. every line break is answering its corresponding one in ur ask) (in most cases im so sorry :sob:) mhm!! theres a whole lot of extra stuff to read aswell-- like after part 4 araki didnt just make the rohan ova, he also made "dead man's questions" which you probably should also read (not watch as theres no anime version) after part 4-- it follows a character who dies in part 4 which is why i wont say ANYTHING about it. i heeaaavily advise you to not even search it up- like at all its mc is a MAJOR character spoiler like not until youve finished part 4 okay

also, despite no character being safe, i wholeheartedly push you to still love and care about every character your heart Will. shatter atleast once, but thats the fun in it really? i started jjba after watching the original naruto, so the first time a main character, like a *main* died i was just shellshocked the entire time i was waiting for them to bring the person back cause it was like You can't be serious? i REALLY dont wanna gas it up but the ending to part 1 was genuinely wild aswell W series

for the stone ocean cgi i didnt really mean the into but in animation itself for some scenes they used like 3d models and such for the powers and effects, and it sometimes might not be noticable, but when you see it. you see it and its like theyre really doing that and its genuinely so cool

the tarot connections are mainly part 3's thing- the way they names most abilities at least my favorite being death (13) mainly because the episode had me SO intrigued- honestly my favorite jojo episode other than this episode in part 4 (will not disclose [spoilers] but its the "bites the dust" episode- youll know it when you get there) hearing the ability names; it was always great to go "hey i know that band!" but i must say if youre watching the anime with subtitles, or in dub, what you read is not the stands name (or hear if dub) the stand name in most cases, will not be the same as it was originally, as well, copyright purposes really, so in western versions the name the person says (for sub) will not line up with the subtitles man in the mirror for example in the subtitles is reffered to as "mirror man" , so if you get to the part with stands, just know you might not be able to like get some references unless you listen to the japanese name not that it matters it just popped into head lol

and yes thats the big change really, the reason people say to fully skip part 1 and 2 the lack of stands which is so childish.. like really? you dont like the main fundamental parts of the series cuz they dont have big punchy monster powers? i assume youve met johnathan by now, judging byyour comment on the ending music YOU WILL (PROBABLY) LOVE HIM hes just a sweetheart like a mary sue mc but in a not mary sue way

yayaya :DD the team behind jojo REALLY can take the liberties they want and thats probably because the manga/araki is weird as hell like think. uh. spy family you just couldnt do the stuff you do in jojo there, not even story wise but art wise everything is so "polished" and set? like i dont wanna say polished, because jojo is *very* sleek looking but like you get what i mean

where was i.... honestly, jojo side characters (unless theyre like minor antags that get beat in one episode) are really prevalent as the seasons go on and one thing i can REALLY applaud araki (as if i havent been applauding him for EVERYTHING) is that he doesnt forget characters if you meet a side character that isnt evil, you Will. meet them again at least once something i like in part 4 (can you tell its my favorite part?) is that all the characters sort of have their own episode (even the sidest of side characters) when you watch it itll make more sense, but like the side characters arent just plot devices i guess youll see them roaming the street and the characters'll walk past the same bg characters multiple times, and that bg character genuinely wont matter i think it goes hand in hand with the whole everyone knows everyone small town theme but it's still super cool and yes!!! i get so dissapointed when i see irl anime reboots and they are literally just cosplaying the characters nooooo!! the point is that its in real life!!! make the story your own!!! yeah i loved aot :D its not a favorite of mine but its top on my lest i should do like a tier list or something of all the mangas/animes i can remember ive watched ive watched a whole lot actually theres not a lot else to do when youre a shut-in :sob: im all caught up with the aot manga the ending. had me shellshocked genuinely had me blinking like.. thats not okay where was my happy ending??? my overall overall thoughts are is that.. well.. i really love when mangakas just through your expectations out the window and thenh grabs them back and spits on them and throws them out another window just to mess with you so i loved aot; the lore behind the titans and everything? confusing but once i got it they had me rolling over in my bed sorry if ive been getting off topic alot by the way . _ .

croak type laugh is what i meant thanks for giving me a solid term :pray: and !! what i like about csm is actually something i saw in a rant on reddit and i have this issue where i repeat what ive read or heard verbatim solike. what im saying next is not only my thoughts but csm isnt really.... about the lore it isnt about the backgrounds and the world building its about denji and his personal growth and!! the growth of the people around him too https://www.reddit.com/r/ChainsawMan/comments/103xnqk/rant_i_hate_how_people_misunderstand_the_point_of/ ^says it much better than i ever can also... i think the biggest difference between mineta and denji is that denji knows what consent is also that denji is a person, whilst mineta is sorta just his character trait (one was made to be disliked, one made to be liked aswell) i am So glad youve seen sxf its just so charming honestly like,... i love happy slice of lifes sm nichijou, lucky star, shows like that and spy is just such a good show, its heartwarming whilst also definitely being about a spy trying to safe the country by adopting a kid and getting married the family dynamic is just c: -- i dont really love or hate yuri him and anya are cute together but... ive never really liked the obsessive brother trope and that Is yuri's entire character mainly so idrk how to feel about him hes not a bad character though i will say

and yES!! when u finish it i'd love to hear your thoughts and questions :pray: and!! being able to like characters that r super bad people is such a major sign of good writing and having bad characters that causes your reader physical pain is also a sign of good writing

i genuinely love this artstyle it feels full of color. and is in black and white :kneel:

nameless white haired guy is just really insufferable from what i remember hes just gassed up too much by the people that surround him so his ego is the size of the lotte world tower the dude that comes before him comes into the manga EARLY like EARLY- chapter three i think theres another person just like him, more like him than the guy i was referencing, "arata" hes bad too but not.. as bad. the guy i was referencing assuming youve read to atleast chap 3 is the hooded weird guy with black hair I can't remember his name either. :grin: i love him though his name is just not said other than one time i think; (sorry this is so..... discombobulated- m reading ur ask then directly responding here. i need to start using transitional phrases) i have watched + read a silence voice, i loved it but i watched and read it in like the same 2 days so i cant tell you small stuff i liked its like cramming studies before a test. you absorb it for a day but afterwards youre only left with how you felt- in this case i remember crying at the end- and the ending but i dont remember specifics or like the traits i loved minus.. nijimiya? i think? was a sweetheart. genuinely adorable i loved her and her little sister as well as shoto (i think is his names) character development. kids are assholes; he was an asshole kid and he grew up and was Not an asshole kid whats not to love for other types of genres... i like horror but i dont like horror mangas/animes that are 'scare' horror idk how to describe scare horror but like.. if stuff r creepy just to be creepy its just not enthralling i love psychological horrors though things like oyasumi punpun or junji ito's stuff (notably uzumaki) i like dramas aswell but like. neon genesis type i think you could sum up my taste as things that are depressing at their core... minus slice of lifes. and like every other romance

i think those would fall into the isekai category for comedy and action though i dont mind it honestly all depends on the thing itself-- i dont like sports mangas but i watched blue lock since it looked cool to me and i didnt hate it not a favorite, but its not under like c tier i havent heard of shield hero honestly-- but i did check it out the designs are nice but i dont think ill watch it

the ONE reason i wont watch one piece is the femals character designs i know its like a 1000+ chapter manga, made by a male mangaka which is a bad sign because to make manga, you must like manga people who like manga enough to write it probably do not see people of the preferred sex at all, so like yeah hes never met a woman other than his mother so he cant draw them but come one you mentioned her so i have to bring her up

come on man. is this really it? just like you said, its either they fit the mangakas beauty standard for women or they are grotesque theres no in between at all and the men designs are so different and unique and vibrant!! he could make more unique female designs he just doesnt :sob:

for the highlights on skin type thing. i have exactly one example in mind- now as a preface peni parker (the girl) is fifteen miles morales (boy) is seventeen im not insinuating anything being illegal here, and if you think that it wouldnt be my point, so ihave to make a point here that that is not what my problem is as a second preface, miles morales looks like this

i sound silly as hell right now. "of course miles looks like that- whats your point? arent we talking about art highlights??" (art is not mine. of course it isnt its.,... look at it...)

I'm not going to comment on the bulge. I won't comment on his lips. I won't even comment on the fact that this is ship fanart, for a ship that... if you've watched itsv or atsv just feels wrong the one thing i immediately picked up on was how they highlighted that line on peni's thighs theres alot of stuff you can just tell by an artstyle the person who drew that i can honestly say is not a good person even if they didnt draw miles like... that... i wouldnt trust them around children highlights alone my point originally wasnt that i didnt like how they look, it was more that you can tell alot about people by the way thy draw just like how you can tell a bit about someone based of their vocabulary the person who drew that Is a pedophile i can just feel it things like that

I DONT MIND THE TEXT PILING UP :pray: IT MAKESME RLLY HAPPY TOI RECIEVE THESE I AM DELIGHTED THE FLOW IS ALSO FINE!! :thumbsup: u can call me whatever (min, minjae, minmin, minpal, 8, 8pal, palpal... i dont think theres any other names associated with this acc)

and last but not least the end IS the meme i had the same realization youre not alone

#min-pal.asks #mikey 🍮

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ucfpublichistory · 5 days ago

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Week 7- so many discoveries!

Hey all!

I am so excited for this week's post because I have found so many cool things in the diary this week! Before I begin, I would like to thank Dr. French for the article he found and sent to me that helped a lot with this research. I will be sure to put that at the bottom of this post, it is fascinating! Essentially it is a pdf of another account of what was going on in the diaries at this point. This can be referred to as the "Blackwater Campaign" which is what we will be calling it here.

Before jumping into any new information, I am going to go back and make some notes on things I mentioned last week that the pdf gave me new insight into. To begin with, on multiple occasions the diaries have mentioned "pickets". I wasn't sure exactly what those were or if I was transcribing that word correctly so I had been putting them in brackets to signify that I was unsure. It turns out, being a "picket" was a position in the army. This was again revealed to me by the pdf on page 192. (All page numbers refer to the pdf numbers, not the numbers of the document itself). Pickets were sentinels or outposts that scouted ahead of the army and would have the first contact with the enemy. They were placed as such to be able to alert the main army of any enemy movements. To be a picket was one of the most dangerous jobs in the army because of the fact that you often came in contact with the enemy first. The pdf says. "We captured five of the enemy's pickets, but saw no rebel force, and met no rebel resistance, except a few shots from their pickets." So clearly, pickets were very important and definitely not just a misspelling in the journal.

Next, last week I mentioned Liet. Barr, who passed away in the Blackwater Campaign. This pdf gives us a little more information on what happened afterwards. “The body of Lieut. Barr was escorted by the chaplain to his home in Lawrence, and imposing services were held in the Baptist Church, on Sunday, the chaplain and another clergyman conducting the services. The fire department and citizens generally thronged the church, and testified to their regard for the- departed.” (209) The diaries simply stated, “Our loss is [Lient] A. G. Barr (instantly killed) 6th Mass. and one man killed of the 11th Pa”. Now we know that his body was taken back home and given a proper burial. The pdf account also explains how he died, that he was protecting one of his soldiers in his regiment and had been shot in his defense. His last words were "I am shot" and his last act was to courageously protect those committed to his care. He was 22 years old at the time.

Next, geographically, the diary has mentioned a "Swamp". Well, the pdf account talks about a "Lake of the Dismal Swamp" on page 194. Now I know that when Short capitalized Swamp, it was in relation to that.

Also, we may have touched on the Blackwater River itself before but I noticed in both the pdf account and the diaries, it mentions that it gets very small and is barely more than a little canal rather than a large river. The diary states, “The river where we crossed cannot with propriety be called a river: it is only about 40ft. wide and is a black looking stream running through the [cypress] swamp; it has a very appropriate name." The pdf account confirms this and says, “Blackwater River, though quite deep, as are most of the " rivers" in this part of the state, is no more than a good-sized canal in width.”(Page 196) Overall, the pdf account has confirmed some things, especially about the terrain of the Blackwater campaign. I have found this to be very interesting and useful for research.

Finally, this week I have been continuing on Volume 2 but another word that was confusing but that I saw several times is the one in the image below:

At first, I really could not decipher this word, that apparently is the name of a road. After seeing it about three times, I went into the pdf and did some searching. I think that the word is "Somerton" road, found on pages 232, 239, 245, 249, and 250 of the pdf account.

One last note that I would like to make about this week's transcription is that the writing medium has changed. During my transcription, the writing changed from pen to pencil in the middle of the page. I am excited to see how that plays out the next few pages. As far as I can tell, it continues to be pencil. Below is the image of where the page went from ink to pencil.

That's all for this week! I am going to post a bit early since I will be camping tomorrow. I look forward to sharing again next week and can't wait to see what else I find out!

Link to pdf account: (As a reminder, all of the page numbers I mention are according to the pdf pages, not the pages of the document itself.)

#civil war #history #internship #university of central Florida

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gremlin-dreams · 6 months ago

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The Car Wreck

So I was a reporter's assistant, doing all this exhausting admin work for my boss, this eccentric reporter who was very very busy and very successful. She looked a little bit like a blonde Helena Bonham Carter mixed with Alicia Silverstone, and was also sort of strange in that permanently frazzled way, but she loved her job.

Anyway, one day we get an interesting call from the FBI, an opportunity to interview somebody involved in a criminal investigation into a string of murders across several states, a case that had been perplexing county and national teams alike for weeks.

Apparently this guy Adam (who looked exactly like Jackson Rathbone but strung out on drugs) was a witness who had information that could be helpful but he was a bit strange and only agreed to give it if he could be interviewed by my boss, let's call her Rebecca. We all assumed it was because he was after his five minutes of fame, or had a crush on one of the biggest reporters in the media, not unusual, so we agreed and flew over to Nevada.

Now there is a reason I called Rebecca eccentric, she always liked things the way she liked them and would hear no argument, and somehow always seemed to get her way, and would do anything for a good story. We get to the place where he is being held for questioning and they allow us to set up in this sterile feeling room, it even had a tiled floor, so strange, not like one of those interview rooms you see on tv, with the one table and a two way mirror.

The camera man gets set up, Rebecca comes in after sweet talking an FBI agent to get whatever she wants, and fresh coffee to boot, and we are ready to go. I'm sitting in the corner with my laptop ready to type away, dictate everything, make notes, do on the spot research.

They bring the guy, Adam, in, and he is definitely wiry-looking, kinda squirrelly, I even initially felt bad for the man after what we were told he was witness to, and Rebecca immediately gets started on the interview. She acts in that whimsy way, asking all the usual questions to try and get him talking, along with some more unusual ones, she was like that, wanted to know his backstory, yanno, where he was born and grew up, what he did for work, yadda yadda. Except this guys answers were seriously dry, it was weird because he specifically requested this interview and was now making Rebecca look a bit stupid on live TV.

She is starting to get a little antsy and gets to the important part, trying to retain control and viewings here; starts asking if he would like to comment on the horrific crimes he was witness to, saying it might help them catch the monstrous people who did it. And he says one thing back - something like this: "No guilt shall fall on the shoulders of the righteous and his witnesses, for they are the soldiers of God."

It was very weird, Rebecca assumes it is some bible phrase and goes with it, mostly because she has to, she's live, but I'm in the corner tapping away, researching, and I could not find a reference to that piece of prose anywhere, especially not the bible. Anyways, she is having to start spitballing here and putting on her dramatic self to make this watchable so she doesn't look like a useless moron. Our segment and time slot is ending so eventually she signs off, leaving us all a bit frustrated and confused, and we begin to pack up. As he was taken away by an agent, I noticed a symbol tattooed on his shoulder, though it looked more like a brand, it was a flower, like a wilting rose. I was left wondering if anything he said was indeed useful to the investigators, because otherwise this was for nothing and it was a whole plate of creepy. I let Rebecca know that what he said was not a quote from any bible I could find, and she thought it was weird too but there was nothing we could really do about it now.

Anyways, the FBI are all done with this weird request of his and are transferring him to somewhere in Virginia and we are headed to somewhere called Pasadena for our next story, and they offer us transport to the airport. We agreed since it would save us some hassle. It was a little convoy of two big black cars, one full of our gear and us all piled into the back, and the other holding two FBI agents and Adam.

It was pretty late at night, it had been raining, and we were driving up these winding mountainy roads dense with brush and/or forest, really cliche american stuff, and out of nowhere this civilian vehicle housing two kids and their parents collides with the car I'm in. I was sent flying clear out of the car, it flips a few times and ends up in this ditch upside down. I came to and the other FBI vehicle had obviously stopped and was trying to call for help, and I was somewhat near them all grazed up, my head pounding, maybe concussed, I think I was bleeding too.

I look up at the agents and its Rossi and Prentiss (I know, apparently I dream criminal minds a lot) and he rolls down his window asking if I could hear him and if I was okay, I replied all foggy as if it were hard to get the words out, and was clearly pretty shaken too. He told me not to look to my left and to just keep my eyes on him, and he said to Prentiss that he needs to get out and help - and that she needs to stay with Adam but it's okay because he was asleep the last they checked. That was when I looked to my right a little, noticing the back seat was empty and the car door was ajar. He was gone.

At this point I'm upset and in shock and probably paranoid but I'm piecing things together and it is starting to seem this guy is not just a witness, but a suspect, a pretty guilty seeming one. I'm now sitting there in the mud, knowing there is a car wreck besides me, and that he is out there and for a split second I genuinely thought I was about to die. As if me noticing he was gone was enough to trigger him to appear out of nowhere with a rock like in some horror movie as if that would be a smart move. Part of me wanted to leap up and pull that ajar door open, climb in and lock myself inside with the agents - but I was crying and thoroughly convinced I could not do it fast enough, so instead chose to just stay deadly still as if hiding from the Jurassic Park T-Rex.

He never did, it didn't happen, but I demanded to know what was really going on, who he really was - and now with a missing and potentially dangerous suspect both of them are clambering out of the vehicle with their guns, confirming my suspicions. Rossi helped me to my feet and brought me over to where most of the wreck was, saying that he couldn't tell me much. They wanted to keep everyone together so as to be as safe and defendable as possible. I was hoping the guy preferred freedom to revenge and would just run.

Emily was assessing the situation and trying desperately to radio for help despite the awful signal, and I finally got a look at the mess. It was horrible. I could see my car in the ditch, the driver hanging upside down in his seat, either unconscious or worse. I couldn't see any further so I had no idea if my crew were alive. The family in the car that hit us, the two children came out with cuts and bruises and stuff, but the dad, he was trapped in the car because the steering column was crushing his legs - and the wife was just sat there in the passenger seat with a bleeding cut on her head like mine, and blood down her arm, crying hysterically and not knowing what to do with herself.

Emily got her out and situated with the kids and I, at the side of the road, while Rossi went to check on the upside down car. It didn't look good, the driver was dead, and so was our cameraman. Rebecca was alive and extremely shaken and possibly had a dislocated arm and she had a pen sticking out of her left leg. Rossi had to drag her out of the car. At this point Emily had no luck with calling for help and Rossi chose to try using the radio in the car just down the hill/verge. It was so dark and things were so risky, I was terrified but I volunteered to go with him, no one should be alone out here and Emily was busy looking out for all the others.

We headed back down to the other car and I was keeping an eye out whilst he clambered into the front to use the radio, but he didn't get very far. I was silently patting, more like hitting, at his back, eyes wide, looking at the rear of the vehicle. There stood Adam, a piece of jagged metal from the crash in his hands, and these crazed dead eyes, it was mortifying. Rossi got out immediately and put an arm out for me to stay behind him, as he pulled out his gun. He starts trying to talk him down, hoping not to have to kill anyone - but this guy has clearly lost it. He started spewing this weird vague nonsense again, and repeated that quote from before as if it had obvious meaning. When he took a step forward and started raising his hand, he was also grinning, it was terrifying, Rossi warned him and had no choice but to shoot him. He yelled out in pain and collapsed to the floor in the dirt and gravel and it started to rain again. Rossi got a bit closer and he was clutching his body, still rambling, and said something like "if you kill me, we'll hunt you for life.." which sent a damn chill up my spine. Then he passed out, or died, it was nothing short of a thriller plot.

Rossi turned around and went straight back to focusing on helping the crash victims, opening the trunk of the vehicle and pulling out medkits and searching for an actual handheld radio. Meanwhile I had just seen a man shot dead and was more than upset, demanding to know what the hell was going on, what he meant by that, what the weird quote meant - and eventually he gave in and told me all he was allowed to. The FBI had put together a theory that there was this new crime ring forming of religiously delusional folk who believed they were killing in the name of God.

As he got all the gear we could carry and we were about to head back up the hill to the others, we see headlights in the distance in the rain driving toward us. It gets close and pulls to a stop since Rossi's car and now a body were kinda blocking the way, and it's a big black pickup truck, maybe someone who can help, or has a working phone or radio. I see a bald guy in the driver's seat and some movement in the back seat, maybe a woman. He just stares for a moment, at us and at Adam's body, not saying anything, a completely dead expression, and he opens his driver's door, beginning to step out.

As he opens it, the light inside the car comes on and I saw something. I saw the same tattoo or brand, but on his face, and had a split second to yell out to Rossi. I dropped the stuff I was holding and cried out, it felt like slow motion, and it was just in time as Rossi noticed it too, because this guy was pulling out a gun of his own, concealed by the car door, and again Rossi had no choice but to defend us, pulling out his gun and shooting first, right at the guys head. His eyes were filled with shock and he just dropped to the ground, dead in the puddles, a pistol in his hand. I didn't think the night could get much worse.

He immediately went to the woman in the back seat who looked just as terrified as me, and as he opened the door and yelled for her to get out with her hands up, she started crying and lifted her hands which were zip tied together, saying things like "Thank God-" and "I thought he was going to kill me." He managed to get a tiny bit of sense out of her as he undid the zip tie, apparently she had been abducted two nights before and they had been on the road ever since, her name was Joanne but he just kept calling her Mary.

So all of us including this poor unexpected hostage are now being herded together at the top of the hill, bringing medkits and those foil blankets and trying to get this radio working to call for help, and I was sat there in shock next to Rebecca who was crying- and I think I just broke down. I lost it. I did not sign up for this and I was traumatised, started getting hysterical, not even Rebecca could calm me as Rossi explained the whole thing to a very concerned Prentiss who had obviously heard all the gunshots.

Anyways, as I'm losing my mind, I start getting more and more panicked and worked up, wondering how the fuck that guy found us, and if me and my crew had also just had a target put on our heads, or if we'd just helped the psycho by putting him on live TV. Then my thoughts wander back to him, lying in the road behind the car, clutching his arm, and dark blood mixing in with the rain as he led there on the ground, and it occured to me that I had not seen exactly where Rossi had shot him.

You'd think you could trust the shot of an experienced and decorated FBI agent, but again I was inconsolable and panicking and demanded to go look at the body, and I was in no condition to go by myself - so begrudgingly Prentiss volunteered to walk me back down there so she could grab more stuff out of the car at the same time - and it's a good thing we did.

It may be cliché, it may be predictable, but the terror I felt in that moment - as we walked down there and Adam's body was nowhere to be seen - was very much real. I was instantly crying once more, telling her over and over that he was right there and now he was gone, and when I looked at the other body - not through choice but through panicked need - the bald guy's gun was missing too.

That horrible and quite literal cliffhanger is where I woke up.

#dreams #dark #dreamlog #dream journal #dreamjournal #criminal minds

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petty-crush · 8 months ago

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Notes on the New Bev Horror a thon 2024

-/—

Before the night started, I meet a woman who had been to every iteration of this annual Halloween marathon. Her joy was still that of someone first entering a new world. I second that emotion.

////-//-

This was an especially strong and highly competitive collection

1-Out of the Dark (Michael Schroeder 1988)

2-The Four Skulls of Johnathon Drake (Edward L Cahn 1959)

3-The Rift (Juan Piquer Simon 1990)

4-Rituals (Peter Carter 1977)

5-The Breed (Nicholas Mastandrea 2006)

6-Eyes of a Stranger (Ken Wiederhorn 1981)

-//-/—-

All of these films were first time watches. All of them had an audience giddy with anticipation.

-/-//—-

“Out of the Dark” left a furious impact, a rip roaring opening film.

The cast for this film is pretty incredible: Divine, Karen Black, Paul Bartel, Tab Hunter, Geoffrey Lewis, Bud Cort, Tracey Walker and so forth.

Each of the names got big cheers.

The late 80s horror era can be ether highly saccharine or wonderfully sleazy. Definitely the latter here.

A masked killer in a clown mask stalks girls from a phone sex (oh, pardon me, phone fantasy) company.

Murder at 4 dollars a minute.

The kills are quite good, but the film largely wins with moments of character interactions.

Karen Black has a nice scene with her on screen child daughter, sympathetically but honestly telling her that “daddy isn’t here because sometimes people need to go away”. It’s rather charming.

She has a more reserved, no nonsense but still caring attitude towards her work daughters.

Paul Bartel has great fun fussing with a wig as he tries to scope out why someone is trying to stay all night in a sex motel.

Divine’s moment (and sly fake mustache) is short but cutting, noting that his rival cop “couldn’t find his pecker in his pocket”.

I think this is the largest role, certainly the most action packed, I’ve seen for actor Tracey Walker. His moments of snooping while trying to avoid bullshit are delightful.

I really can’t think of anything I didn’t like about this film. It is a middleweight class, but does everything with verve. A fun party.

-///—/—/-

Equally lovely was “The Rift”, and while “Dark” was cult actors enlivening potentially stock characters with their outward charm, this film has R Lee Ermey fleshing out his acting range, clinically dissecting his character and his chain of command relation with his other actors.

This film is not above noting his ultra famous role in “Full Metal Jacket”: someone does indeed repeat the notion of a golf ball going through a garden house.

[an aside; reels 2 and 3 were originally switched. The film was restarted with a correct running order, but not before a few minutes into the third reel. Thus, the unusual sight of seeing that line murder the audience the first time, and then smirking appreciation the second time]

Helping smooth the reference is the deft timing by actor John Toles Bey as officer Skeets. This is the rare (intentionally meant) comedy character that is truly funny, as opposed to fucking annoying.

Bey somehow manages to make lines like “you’re my kind of white boy” and moments such as using magnifying glasses to stare at an ample female ass charming in their ornery way.

I like a good underwater film, especially in a submarine, and even more so when shooting a squad of penis shaped monsters. Win win win.

What exactly they are researching under the sea is a mystery, but actor Ray Wise has good moments of misdirecting weasel ness.

-///-/—////—-

This is first time in several years where the film did not end on a mid 90s and beyond (later 2000s these last few years) film. Instead it was the second to last.

“The Breed” has the amusing goal of making teens scared of and battling genetically altered dogs.

Now, I can see why a casual cinema goer may have recoiled at this idea and its execution. People generally don’t like thinking dogs will harm humans and they really don’t like seeing dogs get killed.

However, this is a horror film, and this is a screening for mega hyped cinema enthusiasts, so of course all the canine deaths and attacks were met with wild applause.

Another case of an audience at the right place ramping it up.

Speaking of, that arrow in the leg scene..ouch!

Michelle Rodriguez is the most accomplished actor here, although the most dramatic meat is between two in character brothers and how they learn to trust each other despite seeing the sibling as a fuck up.

Rodriguez is the current lover of one and the former of another, to really drive home the awkwardness.

I gleefully admit, seeing two rabid dogs chilling on the airplane wing then diving in the water to murder the male lead is pretty funny. Has a “oh, are we on camera now?!?” vibe.

-/-/——///——

The black and white classic horror spot was “Four Skulls” this year, and it hit that spot firmly if not vividly.

The finger prints that are shaped like tiny skulls result had the audience giggling.

What a strange notion to have a white head sewn onto an Indian body. Brown…chest? (As opposed to brown face).

-/-/——

I’m really torn on “Rituals”. On one hand it clearly had the best acting of the night(by Hal Holbrook & Lawrence Dane), at other times it greatly meandered, not helped by the outdoor night photography being too dark to see at times.

I had a pretty good chuckle at a character thinking his life is over because he’s “38, drunk and my last boyfriend who wasn’t in an asylum was five years ago”.

Who considers 38 old, the middle schoolers who will never watch this film?

-/———///——-/—

“Eyes of a Stranger” is also an example of a good film at maybe not the best place.

It’s a slow burn that really explodes at the end, but putting it last doesn’t do it any favors. The first five films felt of a unity, but this has an ever so soft aroma of stapled to the rest.

It’s my only real critique of the night, albeit in hindsight.

“Breed” wasn’t a better film but it was snappier paced, and a worthier stinger to end the night on.

-///-///—-

An interlude

It occurs to me now how each half of the marathon had two similar bookends separated by a palette change.

“Skulls” was a leisure 50s ride sandwiched between two goofy and highly entertaining late 80s/early 90s schlock fests.

Meanwhile, “Breed” was a teen romp n stomp between two very deep dive atmospheric moody tales from the late 70s/early 80s.

Amusing.

-/-////——-/

Anywho, back to “Eyes”.

It actually really surprised me that it’s from the beginning of the decade of greed. I would have guessed 1973 at most before knowing the true answer.

It certainly doesn’t feel like a film that was post John Carpenter’s “Halloween” and its codification of the slasher genre. Very “let’s heat up the ‘Psycho’ leftovers one more time with salt” vibe.

There is a child character that is dealing with lack of seeing and hearing after a traumatic rape. She’s not an object of pity (clearly her big sister character is more shamed than her) and this is a fine line confidently walked by a young Jennifer Jason Leigh.

She really had the stuff even at an early age. What a casting coup.

The fact that the main killer looks like Peter griffin from “family guy” doesn’t even matter. It’s all expertly and grisly directed.

The aforementioned big sister character feels like she really let her younger sibling down by her being abducted by a stranger in a car. This is a good dramatic angle for her to relentlessly pursue this murderer far beyond the normal. It’s personal and aided by guilt.

The scenes of her clinging to the balcony of an apartment, hoping dually she won’t get caught or fall to her death, are excellent.

But the real fireworks come at the end. The killer taunts the blind n deaf girl in her apartment (rented with her sis but she’s out) by moving knives, plates, and other objects she knows she just put there.

There is no sound during this sequence, only eerily silence.

The kid catches on, runs around the apartment, is chased into master bedroom, and hit repeatedly. The shock is almost overwhelming.

And then she starts to see.

Fuzzy at first, shapes and colors come into play (we see from her POV) then she hits her 2nd attacker and wanders to the dresser where the gun is.

She shoots him.

Her clothes torn, her breath short, she wanders into the bathroom and starts to see more.

For the first time, she sees her teenage self

The camera lingers on her. It is a generally moving scene.

The killer lunges from off camera.

Finally the big sister returns. Grabs the gun. Shoots in the head. Crying. Stops at the young girl talking for the first time in years. A tender embrace.

Emotionally devastating, and richly rewarding after wandering with the film at a post midnight hour.

It all comes together.

-///——//—-

On the way out of the theatre I received my “I survived the whole night” gift; a sweet patch to sew on.

With or without it, the memories from tonight will remain. The sharp sense of triumphant joy and oooing outlines of shock.

Like any festival, of any art, it varies from year to year. But the accumulated effect, the greatest highs, remain.

I actually, overall, liked this one better than last year. And that was also a good one.

Like the woman who has seen all these nights of horror mystery, I add it to the deep treasures of my experiences. I am open to new things, and I am rewarded for that.

Can’t ask for anything more satisfying.

#new bev #film #out of the dark #the four skulls of johnathon drake #the rift #rituals #the breed #eyes of a stranger #new beverly cinema #horrorthon #halloween

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